


Have You Had Enough?

by LLK_LLK



Category: Naruto
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, F/M, Friendship, Heartbreak, NSFW, POV Hatake Kakashi, Post-Break Up, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2020-05-31 04:42:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19418713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LLK_LLK/pseuds/LLK_LLK
Summary: Being the patient and level-headed man that Kakashi is, he was able to lead and guide your relationship through different seasons in life. But of course, in every relationship, you will face unexpected challenges that seem quite impossible to solve.Who would have thought that even Kakashi would reach his limit? Especially after your relationship had led to a failed mission. Worse, a mission that almost caused the life of a comrade.





	1. The Failed Mission

I leaned against the wall, shaking. I could hear Lady Tsunade’s fuming words from the outside. As I stood beside the door, I felt nothing but deep pain and regret. She was undeniably displeased with what happened. Unfortunately, Kakashi was getting all the heat from her. My greatest fear was that our Hokage will relieve him of his duties.

We were both part of the mission. It just so happened that our relationship was already on the rocks. I was giving Kakashi a hard time because I wanted him to finally realize his mistakes and shortcomings. But I went too far that I caused him to lose his focus.

During the mission, we got into a heated argument. Our plans weren’t going so well. We were in a total mess and I just couldn’t take it anymore. Everyone didn’t know what to do since they’ve never witnessed such an exasperated and terrorizing Kakashi. There was so much tension that the rest of the squad had to distance themselves from both of us. I took my bag of weapons and threw it at his face, and decided to walk away.

 **(Y/N):** That’s it! I’ve had it!  
**Kakashi:** (Y/N)! Come back here! You can’t leave the group! We need to stay together!

The other members cried out to me, but I was too stubborn. I went further and further away from them, not wanting to look back. Then I felt a strong grip on my wrist. I tried to pull myself away but I couldn’t.

 **(Y/N):** What are you doing?!  
**Kakashi:** Look, if you’re mad at me, we can talk about your issues at home. This is a mission. The last thing I need right now is for you to act like a brat. We are in the middle of a warzone and we need to solve this as a team!  
**(Y/N):** Let go, Kakashi! Enough of this teamwork of yours! It’s not working. And it wouldn’t help if we’re all getting at each other’s nerves. Just leave me alone! I need some time to think this through!  
**Kakashi:** That’s not going to happen! You’re not going anywhere!  
**(Y/N):** I said let go--

He suddenly pulled me into a tight embrace. I tried to push him away but I just sunk deeper and deeper into his chest. His body was shaking and I could hear his hard breathing and heartbeat. He was trying his best to compose himself, trying to rule out the almost ungovernable fervor within him.

 **Kakashi:** Don’t do this. I’m really having a hard time. Just please follow my orders. Don’t make this harder for---

His words were cut by raging screams. Our group was ambushed by our enemies.

It got worse from there. Though we were able to defeat our enemies, one of us was left in a critical condition. And since Kakashi was our captain, he indisputably took full responsibility of what had happened.

 **Lady Tsunade:** I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation here, Kakashi. I expected more from you!  
**Kakashi:** I do understand. I failed you, Lady Tsunade! I’m sorry to be such a disappointment. But please let me make up for it. It will never happen again!  
**Lady Tsunade:** It better not! You’re one of my trusted and reliable Jōnins. Our village is still recovering. And it wouldn’t help if someone like you is losing focus on these missions. Are you sure you’re still up for all these challenges? Or do you want me to give you some time off?  
**Kakashi:** There’s no need for that! Forgive my recklessness! I messed up! And I’m really sorry! Please give me another chance, my Lady. You can trust me on this. I won’t fail you the next time.  
**Lady Tsunade:** *sigh* Okay, then. I’ll discuss this with the council. Wait for further instructions. In the meantime, you’re dismissed.  
**Kakashi:** Yes, ma’am.

Kakashi stepped out of the office with his head down. Though his face was mostly covered, I knew how downcast he was. I slowly walked towards him and gently took his hand. He remained silent, still looking at the floor.

 **(Y/N):** Kakashi?

He didn’t answer. So I patienly waited for him to speak up. After a long silence, he finally faced me. There was still great sadness in how he looked at me.

 **(Y/N):** I’m… I’m really sorry.. It’s all my fault.  
**Kakashi:** I’m tired. Let’s go home.

_********* _

The night was dark and silent. The silence was screaming into my ears and it made it hard for me to sleep. I rolled over to where Kakashi laid. He was still awake, staring blankly at the ceiling. He never said a word since we left the Hokage’s residence. As much as I wanted to let him be, I needed to know what was on his mind. He probably hated me more than ever.

Placing a hand on his bare chest, I whispered his name. He slowly looked at me.

 **(Y/N):** Please say something.  
**Kakashi:** What do you want me to say?

His voice was low and soft, but full of pain.

 **(Y/N):** Anything. You can curse at me. You can yell at me. You can say how much you hate me.  
**Kakashi:** I don’t hate you.  
**(Y/N):** Then tell me what you’re feeling.

He shifted his body until he was completely facing me. There was sorrow in his eyes which made me worry all the more.

He cupped my face with his affetionate hand and I breathed into his warm fingers. Then, I felt his tender lips on mine for awhile before receding.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N), you mean the world to me. I love you more than anything. I love you beyond words can tell.

He kissed me once more, then slowly sat up, resting his face on his palm.

 **Kakashi:** But... I’m starting to think that this is all a mistake.

After letting out a painful sigh, he stood up and walked out of the bedroom. I was completely alarmed by his words, that I couldn’t move a muscle. It’s like my heart was so full of emotions and it needed to explode.

_Kakashi. What are you saying? You’re not giving up on me, right? You’re a fighter, and you won’t leave me, right?_

_********* _

It’s been a week since that unforseen night.

Kakashi and I weren’t able to talk about it the next morning, since he was summoned by Lady Tsunade to do another A-Rank mission. She gave him a chance to make up for the last failed mission, and I wouldn’t want to get in the way again.

So during my time alone, I tried to reflect and process everything about our relationship. I was able to see how much I needed to grow as a woman and as his lover. I realized that we were no longer in our youthful years, wherein everything was all about us. We were no longer living in our own little world. Kakashi grew up to be a fine man. He learned to understand his responsibilities and priorities. And here I was, still acting like a juvenile in our relationship.

I was being so manipulative of him. I always made it seem like he was at fault each time we fought. When he was too busy with his missions, I’d immaturely punish him by ignoring him for days, or a week. When he ought to do training, I’d constrain him to stay with me in bed, until he was too exhausted to train. I was selfish, but Kakashi was nothing but a patient, understanding, and forgiving man. I failed to acknowledge that.

I knew he will be arriving anytime soon, and I’ve been anxiously gathering all my thoughts, thinking of what to say to him when he gets back.

_********* _

It was past midnight when I felt Kakashi’s presence enter our home. I was already in bed, but still fully awake. In fact, I barely slept during his time away.

I remained in my position as he walked towards the bathroom, undoing his clothing piece by piece. I felt a little pain since he didn’t even bother to approach me upon arrival. Clearly, he was still bewildered with his emotions.

After a couple of minutes, I heard the shower go on. I was tempted to get out of bed and join him, thinking that maybe an intimate moment with him can ease his pain and confusion away. But something inside stopped me from doing so. This time, it was different. I wasn’t going to get away from this mess just by sleeping with him. I needed to face reality even if I was damn scared of what might happen.

Kakashi came out fully clothed. But not in his sleeping attire, but in a clean uniform. As soon as he finished drying his damp hair, he put on his mask and headband, and sat next to me. Elbows resting on his thighs, he pined..

 **Kakashi:** Why are you still awake?

_So, he knows._

I slowly sat up behind him and rested my forehead on his back.

 **(Y/N):** I missed you... I couldn’t sleep.  
**Kakashi:** Do you intend on sleeping at all?  
**(Y/N):** If only I could. But no.  
**Kakashi:** Very well then… 

He rearranged himself so that we were now seated next to each other.

 **Kakashi:** We should talk.

My heart pounded like a beaten drum. I felt immense fear in me. A part of me wanted to escape, and another part of me wanted to linger.

 **(Y/N):** Do you still think that this is a mistake?

Somehow, I wished I never asked that question. But I can’t back away now. I needed to face this in order to understand what Kakashi was feeling. It must have been hard for him too.

 **Kakashi:** To be honest, I don’t think it is.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

 **Kakashi:** Rather.. I believe it is.

My chest felt heavy. It was like a thousand needles were being pinned to my heart.

 **(Y/N):** Wh-what makes you say that?  
**Kakashi:** I feel lost.. I just don’t see ourselves growing in this relationship.   
**(Y/N):** Don’t you love me anymore?  
**Kakashi:** You know I do.  
**(Y/N):** Then, why are you telling me this?  
**Kakashi:** You see.. we fell in love at a very young age. We were devastated with all the losses we had. Then, we found each other. It was... amazing. Having you here with me as I went through all the pain and loneliness? I’m more than grateful. But we were still young and naive. We thought that we’ve finally filled the void of each other’s hearts, so all we cared about was our relationship. But as we grew older, I realized that there’s more to life than this.  
**(Y/N):** So are you saying that this is just a phase for you? And that you’re finally over it and you want to move on? Is that it?  
**Kakashi:** No. Far from that. It’s just... (Y/N), what’s the point of this relationship? All we do is fight and hurt each other over unnecessary things. It’s an endless cycle. It’s become so unhealthy. We’ve lost focus on things that matter most.  
**(Y/N):** We love each other. And that’s enough.   
**Kakashi:** Is it?  
**(Y/N):** It is!  
**Kakashi:** Is it enough to keep this relationship going and growing? I love you, (Y/N).. I love you so much. But I feel that this is all ripping me apart. I’m starting to lose myself. And so have you. It’s.. it’s time that we grow as individuals.. separately.  
**(Y/N):** I don’t understand. Why do we need to be apart in order to do that?

Tears started to erupt from my eyes.

 **Kakashi:** I want you to discover yourself and understand who you really are. The more you find your security in me, the more expectations you have for me. But sometimes, I’m not going to be able to meet those expectations. It might be too much for me too. I feel drained and empty. Aren’t you tired of all this pain?  
**(Y/N):** No, Kakashi! I’m happy in where we are now. Please don’t do this! I need you! Please don’t leave me! Stay with me! Fight with me!

I held him as tight as I could, begging him to change his mind. It hurts because he was right. But I just couldn’t let go. I didn’t want to.

 **(Y/N):** I love you! I love you so much! I’m sorry about the mission! I’m sorry for putting you through so much pain and trouble all the time! I’m sorry for everything! I promise I’ll do better! Just please stay with me! I love you!

His body trembled as his face sunk into his shaking hands. He was desperately trying to stop his tears from falling. 

**Kakashi:** I... I... I love you. I love you too, (Y/N). God, I love you so much! But... I need to do this. I’m sorry...

He detached himself from the embrace and stood up. I pleaded for him to stay. But without looking back, he painfully walked towards the door. Then, he was gone.


	2. An Empty Home

I felt so abandoned. It’s been a month since I last saw Kakashi. The apartment looked desolated as each day passed by. He must have taken his belongings little by little when I went out on missions. I was told that he moved back to his old apartment on the other side of the village.

I sat on the cold wooden floor, clutching myself, trying my best to console my despondent self. What a shame. I never thought that someone as loyal as Kakashi has finally wavered. Maybe I deserved it. Maybe he deserves better. But the thought of losing him is unbearable.

I looked up to the closet in front of me. There was a piece of clothing that fell on the floor. It was Kakashi’s shirt. He was probably in a hurry that he forgot to take it with him. I walked towards it and picked it up. His scent was still there. It made me miss him all the more. I held it close to me as tears fell from eyes. There was so much pain. I miss his face. I miss his smile. I miss his kisses. I miss his warmth. I miss everything. 

_Knock, knock._

I wiped my eyes and headed towards the door.

 **(Y/N):** Kurenai? Wh-what are you doing here?  
**Kurenai:** Boy, you look like a mess. Here, I brought you this!

She handed over a bag of food. We weren’t really as close as sisters, but she was a very good friend to me.

 **(Y/N):** This is…. Well, thank you.

She paced around the apartment as I led her inside. She must have noticed that it looked bare than before.

 **Kurenai:** Listen, (Y/N).

She faced me with concerned eyes.

 **Kurenai** : I know you’re hurting. I’m not going to tell you to stop it with all your crying. But at the same time, you shouldn’t stop being happy as well. You’ve lost someone you love, but you still need to take care of yourself. Find something else to amaze you. Learn new things and keep yourself busy with it. It’s not going to help if you remain broken.

She’s right. I haven’t been sleeping and eating that much since Kakashi and I parted ways. 

**Kurenai:** Have you looked at the mirror lately?  
**(Y/N):** What do you mean?  
**Kurenai:** You’ve lost some weight, sweetheart. How will you be able to do your missions in your current condition?  
**(Y/N):** I.. It’s not that I don’t want to.. I just… I..   
**Kurenai:** He still cares so much about you.

My eyes widened. 

**Kurenai:** Do you honestly think that scarecrow aint bothered with what’s going on with you?  
**(Y/N):** Did... did Kakashi asked you to come here?  
**Kurenai:** Well, it’s not like I didn’t want to. I also want to help you. So here, eat up. I did all the cooking.  
**(Y/N):** You did? Thank you.  
**Kurenai:** Promise me, you’ll eat up. Now, I have a mission to finish. I just made sure to drop this off before I left the village.  
**(Y/N):** Thank you. This means a lot to me.

After Kurenai’s visit, I tried my best to focus on my missions, making sure I accomplished them accordingly. That last thing I wanted was for Kakashi to see that I wasn’t growing or improving on my own. If I wanted him back, I should do my best to become a better person.

But... it was easier said than done.

**_*****_ **

I was strolling around the streets of our village when I passed by a liquor store. I was supposed to be out on mission but it was called off the last minute. Knowing that I’ll be facing another solitary and idle moment at home again, I was enticed to procure a few bottles. I’m not a drinker or whatsoever, but maybe a few bottles wouldn’t hurt.

Or so I thought it was.

Since I’m not much into alcohol, I ended up being so intoxicated with the liquid that coursed within me. Thankfully, my isolation saved me from the disaster of having the villagers see me in my pitiful shape. I couldn’t even lift myself up anymore.

**  
Kakashi’s POV**

Upon hearing that (Y/N) was given another mission, I decided to get all the remaining items I’ve left in our former home. In my heart, I knew it would be still hard for me to see her face to face. I was still madly in love with her, and I don’t think my feelings for her have changed. It was a good thing our Hokage was considerate of our situation. She made sure to give both of us missions that will make it hard for us to see each other.

I stood outside the apartment, staring at the keys.

 _The lights are out._ _Good_. _No one’s home._

I unlocked the door, but the image before me made my body freeze. It’s as if I’ve seen a dead person come back to life.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)?! I… I thought.. I.. I’m sorry. I’ll come back some other time.

I was about to leave when I felt something off about her. She just stood there by the door frame of the bathroom. 

**Kakashi:** Is everything alright?

She fell on her knees and I quickly ran to her aid. As soon as I did, I couldn’t help but smell the strong scent of alcohol.

 **Kakashi:** Good grief. Why on earth would you do this?

I carried her and laid her on the couch. 

**(Y/N):** Hng…

I prepared pieces of cloth soaked in cold water, placing one on her forehead, while using the other to wipe her neck and arms.

 **(Y/N):** Where.. Am I?

She was starting to gain consciousness, so I took a glass of cold water for her to drink.

 **(Y/N):** Who… ow… my head.

I knelt one knee on the couch and leaned towards her. I didn’t know if it will be healthy for her to see me, but I couldn’t just leave her. She might hurt herself in her current state. 

**(Y/N):** Who.. are… you?

Her eyes shot open. The growing shock on her face scared me. I swallowed hard, fear seizing in my chest. Then out of nowhere, came a strong, massive, and heavy kick on my crotch.

 **Kakashi:** Hmngaah!!! God... damn.. it!  
**(Y/N):** Ka.. Kashi?!

I instantly knelt on the floor, clinged to the growing and burning pain in between my legs. It was a pathetic scene to witness someone like me, whimpering in pain, as I desperately yearned for instant relief that was nowhere to be found.

 **Kakashi:** Hmng… I guess.. I… deserved this.. but damn.. this really hurts.  
**(Y/N):** I… I‘m s-sorry!

Grasping for air, I struggled to lift myself up to the couch, while still holding on to my aching crotch. Slouching to my knees, I breathed in and out. I felt like throwing up. (Y/N), on the other hand, kept stroking my back, hoping to remove the discomfort she gave me.

 **(Y/N):** I’m really sorry.. What are you doing here in the first place? I thought you were an intruder or something!

It took me ahwile to regain composure. But as soon as I was able to manage the lingering pain, I sat straight up and took the glass of water.

 **Kakashi:** No.. forget it. Here, drink this. 

I gave her a glass of water and some medicine for her headache.

 **Kakashi:** Go take a shower when you’re feeling a whole lot better.  
**(Y/N):** Wait. Are you leaving?  
**Kakashi:** I thought you were on a mission. I’ll come back some other time.  
**(Y/N):** Don’t go. Please?

She strongly caressed my arm.

 **(Y/N):** Stay..  
**Kakashi:** (Y/N), you know I can’t. This won’t be good for you.. or for me. I hope you understand.  
**(Y/N):** Just stay for a little while. Please?

I couldn’t bare seeing the small tears flowing from her eyes. As much as I wanted to be strong, I was also struggling within. I love her and no amount of words can tell how much I’ve missed her.

_This isn’t good._

**(Y/N):** I missed you so much.

She pulled me closer and left soft kisses on my cheek.. my jaw.. and my neck. Yes, my weakest spots.

 **Kakashi:** No, (Y/N).. You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re doing.

I got rid of her arms. But the moment I took the first step away from her, she quickly took my hand and landed it on her breast. She moved it in a circular motion and my fingers felt her nipple turning hard. Soon, she undid her robe with her free hand. I stiffened at the image of her beautiful naked body before me. I didn’t know if I’ll be able to control myself. I felt so trapped.

 **Kakashi:** Don’t do this to me, (Y/N).. Please.. I’m begging you..  
**(Y/N):** I‘m still yours, Kakashi. I love you. This body is still yours. I know you’ve been feeling lonely too. You want this. I know you do.

_She was right. I wanted this. I wanted her. No. I needed her._

I breathlessly beseeched her to stop tempting me, but it was a little too late. She already managed to pull me unto the couch and straddled me. My masked was pulled downwards and her lips captured mine. I was quick to give in. She sat on my erection and purposely caused this friction that let guilty moans come out of my mouth. It was wrong but it felt good. My hands unknowingly rested on her chest. It’s like my body was moving on its own.

As our tongues coiled with each other, I felt her pulling my trousers down until my throbbing cock found its release. Its size and length clearly showed how it longed to feel her.. her wetness.. her warmth..

_What the hell am I doing?_

Kneeling in between my thighs, she gave my hard length wet kisses before stroking it and completely swallowing it. I silently cursed at both the pleasure and guilt it gave me.

 **Kakashi:** No… no.. Please, stop.. Hmaah... (Y/N)... Please! I beg you.. Stop..

The more I pleaded, the more she pressured her mouth onto me.

I gravely thought of ways to get hold of myself. I needed to end this. With all I can, I tried to liberate myself from this slavery of lust and extreme loneliness.

 **Kakashi:** I said.. stop!!

I pushed her from my thighs and quickly got off the couch. Panting heavily, I pulled my boxers and trousers back on. I made sure not to look back at her.

Her cries grew louder then...

I felt this flickering pain on my chest, because I was the one who caused her such agony. But I knew that it had to be done. We needed to break away from each other.

 **Kakashi:** I’m sorry for everything. I really am. But we can’t do this, (Y/N). As much I want to hold you.. to feel you.. I just can’t do it. I don’t want to be unfair to you. Please understand.

I reached for her robe and gently covered her naked form with it.

 **(Y/N):** Kakashi… I love you..  
**Kakashi:** Please feel better. I hate to see you like this.  
**(Y/N):** Stay with me...

_(Y/N), if only you knew how hard it is for me too._

**Kakashi:** I’m.. I’m really sorry. I have to go. Take care of yourself, okay?

I left one last kiss on her forehead, before walking out the door.

_********* _

**Your POV**

Kakashi wasn’t coming back me. No matter what I did, he was committed to his decision. It was clear as glass. 

I was hurting. But I also felt angry at the same time, because he left me hanging. He wanted to move from everything. And I had no choice but to do the same.

As days went by, I gathered the remaining items that Kakashi left at my place. I didn’t want to see any traces of him. With that, I collected everything in a stupid old box and had it sent to his apartment. While photos, gifts, letters, and almost everything that reminded me of him went straight to the garbage.

_Goodbye.. Kakashi. It’s time that I let go too._

_********* _

Weeks later, all Jōnins were summoned to the Hokage’s office. We were to have an alignment meeting, to discuss on the Leaf Village’s current state. Knowing that Kakashi will be present at the gathering, I made sure I was ready and strong enough to face him again. I wasn’t going to be that pitiful woman anymore who couldn’t get over a break-up.

 **Guy:** Hey, (Y/N)! It’s so good to see again. It’s been awhile!  
**(Y/N):** Hi. I guess I’m not the only one who’s been getting non stop missions. But it’s good to see you alive and…. energetic still.  
**Guy:** That’s because I have the gift of perseverance! And with you, I can also see that power of youth, that power that can shape your destiny!  
**(Y/N):** Uh… Okay.  
**Guy:** Well well, isn’t it my eternal rival, Kakashi Hatake. Are you ready to do another challenge? Hmm??

Without looking, I knew he was standing right behind me.

 **Kakashi:** Hi there. 

It was as if he acted like there’s nothing wrong between us. But whatever facade he was making, it really pissed me off.

 **(Y/N)** : I’ll go ahead, Guy. Chat with you later.

I walked past Kakashi pretending that he didn’t even exist. I didn’t want to waste my time on him and the troublesome act he gave.

I tried my best to focus on our Hokage’s updates, but I just couldn’t help but feel Kakashi’s presence. It made me really uncomfortable. So the moment that our meeting was adjourned, I stepped right out of the room, not even bothering to talk to the others. 

**Kakashi:** (Y/N)...

_Damn it. What does he want from me?_

**(Y/N):** What now?  
**Kakashi:** Oh, don’t be mad. I just wanted to give this back to you.

He handed over a necklace. It was given by my mother, who died during the Third Shinobi War. I always wondered where it went.

 **Kakashi:** I’m afraid that it was accidentally sent to me, along with the items you’ve returned. I know this means a lot to you. Here.

I took it from him without saying a word. I was as cold as ice. I just turned around and continued to walk away from him.

 **Kakashi:** I’m really glad to see you’re feeling all better.

I stopped to look back at him, but he had already left.


	3. Feelings

**Sakura:** Calm down, Naruto! You are so annoying!  
**Naruto:** Calm down?! We’ve been waiting here for hours!

I was on my way to the forest for training, when I heard loud voices over the village bridge. Complying with my curiosity, I looked over to see, only to find Kakashi’s students. I averted my eyes, pretending that I didn’t see anything. I wanted to avoid his team as much as possible, because even a little chatter with them won’t do me any good.

 **Sakura:** Oh, it’s (Y/N)-Sensei!

_Yikes.. too late._

**Naruto:** Huh? Oh, hi Ms. Hatake-Sensei!

Naruto received a strong blow on the head.

 **Sakura:** You insensitive jerk!  
**Sasuke:** Tch. Why are you such an idiot?  
**Naruto:** Oh, right. I’m so sorry (Y/N)-Sensei! I just got used to calling you that.

I waived off his apology and just gave him a pat on the head instead.

They were supposed to go out on a mission, but as usual, Kakashi was behind time. But this was something I didn’t expect him to change. Visiting the memorial stone was a habit of his even before we got together. This is the reason why he tends to be unremittingly late.

 **Sakura:** Where are you headed off to?  
**(Y/N):** Me? Well, I wanted to do some training today since I’m trying to master this new jutsu I made.  
**Naruto:** A new Jutsu?! Oh, (Y/N)-Sensei, you’re so awesome! I wish you can train me one day! Kakashi-Sensei is always playing favorites with that jerk, Sasuke.  
**Sasuke:** What did you say?  
**(Y/N):** Calm down, boys. Especially you, Naruto.  
**Naruto:** Huh, why me?  
**Sakura:** Well, she’s right you know?  
**(Y/N):** Kakashi has a lot on his plate, and he must have a good reason why he decided to personally train Sasuke. And as for you, Naruto, don’t you have Master Jiraiya? He is one of the Legendary Sannin. I’d be so honored to be his student.  
**Naruto:** But but but… that Pervy Sage is too busy with all his “research” and all.  
**(Y/N):** Pervy what?!

On spur of moment, a bursting cloud appeared. _Oh, great._

 **Kakashi:** Sorry I’m late. It seems that I got lost in the path of life.  
**Naruto:** You liar!  
**Kakashi:** Oh, hello there, (Y/N). Is there something I can do for you?

I didn’t bother to answer at all.

There was a long awkward silence. The three students felt it too, and all they could do was to look at me and then to Kakashi... and then back to me... and then Kakashi.

 **(Y/N): _*sigh*_** I’m leaving. I don’t want to be late for my training.

Kakashi’s expression had a slight change the moment I ignored him.

 **Sakura:** Uhm, wait! W-why don’t you walk with us? I mean.. We all are going in the same direction, aren’t we?  
**Naruto:** **_*whispers*_** I don’t think that’s a good idea.  
**Sakura:** ** _*whispers*_** Shut up. I’m trying to help Kakashi-Sensei.  
**Kakashi:** Now now Sakura. We don’t want to get in (Y/N)’s way, don’t we?  
**(Y/N):** Okay. Let’s get going then.  
**Kakashi:** Are you sure it’s--  
**(Y/N):** Shut it. It’s not like I’m doing it for you.  
**Kakashi:** I.. Alright. I’m sorry.

It was only a short walk to the gate, but to me it felt like a thousand years. As I pointed out to the kids the relevance of controlling and balancing their chakra, all I did was ignore Kakashi. Much to his dismay. But he just silently walked along with us, with his thoughts getting deeper and deeper. He didn’t even realize that we were already outside of the village.

 **Naruto:** Kakashi-Sensei?  
**Kakashi:** Huh? Did you say something?  
**Sakura:** You have the map right? Which way do we go?  
**Kakashi:** Right! **_*rubbing his head*_ ** Sorry about that.

I said my goodbyes to the three kids but not to Kakashi. I felt a little guilt eventually. Harbouring bitterness was no good for young shinobis. 

**Kakashi’s POV**

I wanted to keep it civil between (Y/N) and I, but it seemed she wasn’t ready. All I could do was wait and try to understand where she was coming from. I knew she was still hurting. We both were. However, my hope is that, we’ll be able to go back to the friendship we once had. Not like this, wherein she’s been treating me like a total stranger. It hurts that everything we had, even the good things, just went completely down the drain.

I knew in my heart of hearts I was doing the right thing. That the breakup is what’s best for both of us. Perhaps one day she will learn to reconsider our friendship.

_Maybe... just maybe.._

**Sakura:** Kakashi-Sensei?  
**Kakashi:** Hmm?  
**Sakura:** Uhm...  
**Kakashi:** What is it, Sakura?  
**Sakura:** I’m sorry.  
**Kakashi:** About what?  
**Sakura:** I shouldn’t have asked her to walk with us.  
**Naruto:** That’s what I was telling you!  
**Sakura:** Shut up, you jerk!  
**Kakashi:** What’s so wrong about that?  
**Sakura:** I…. I just wanted to help. I mean. I wanted to remove the tension between the two of you. And I feel like I made it worse.  
**Kakashi:** Oh, don’t worry. It’s all going to be okay.  
**Sakura:** Do you miss her?

Suddenly, the three of them had their ears on me. I could see the devious looks they had on their faces. They were so eager to get an answer from me.

 **Kakashi:** That, I don’t feel like telling.   
**Sakura/Naruto/Sasuke:** Hmpft!!!

I let out a small chuckle. Deep within me, I wanted to express all the lingering feelings I still had for (Y/N). But it wouldn’t be good for them. I am their mentor after all.

 **Kakashi:** You’ll understand this when you grow older.  
**Sakura:** Oh, I am young but I completely understand. **_*looks at Sasuke*  
_ ** **Sasuke:** Tch. When I grow up, I don’t think I’ll ever want to understand.

Sakura let out a painful sign while I just continued to chuckle.

 **Kakashi:** Alright. Enough with this talk. Let’s get moving.  
**Naruto:** Right!

_********* _

**Your POV**

After using up all my chakra, I couldn’t help but feel frazzled. I laid on the grass and closed my eyes as the cool breeze blew in and as the rays of the setting sun rested on me. 

**_Kakashi:_ ** _Hi there._  
**_(Y/N):_ **_Huh?_  
**_Kakashi:_ ** _Mind if I join you?  
_ **_(Y/N):_ **_What do you want? Aren’t you supposed to be in a mission or something?_

_He settled beside me and gave me a warm smile._

_**(Y/N):** Hey, I didn’t say yes._  
_**Kakashi:** Yes to what?_  
_**(Y/N):** Ugh. Nevermind._  
_**Kakashi:** Well, aren’t you a little cranky?_

_He left a small tap on my forehead._

_**(Y/N):** I’m tired, Kakashi._  
_**Kakashi:** So am I._  
_**(Y/N):** I don’t have any time for this._  
_**Kakashi:** So do I._  
_**(Y/N):** That’s it! You’re annoying me!_

_Before I could get up, he pulled me back down and positioned himself on top of me._

_**Kakashi:** You’re so beautiful, you know? I wish you’d show me more of your smiles instead._  
_**(Y/N):** What do you want? _

_He pulled down his mask. Such innocence this face has._

_**Kakashi:** I’m terribly missing you.. it’s starting to hurt so much._  
_**(Y/N):** Then why did you leave me?_

_He didn’t answer. Instead, he leaned closer and captured my lips. No lust involved. It was just one long romantic kiss._

_**Kakashi:**...Did I?_

I woke up and found myself still resting on the grass.

I knew it was just a dream. But it felt so real. It’s as if I can still feel his lips on mine. 

_Kakashi... why did you have to do this? You’ve messed up.. big time. I’m sorry.. but I’m not sure if I’m ready to forgive you.. Will I be able to?_


	4. Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Smut!

Weeks later...

On my way home from the market, I unavoidably bumped into Kakashi’s students again. Seems that everywhere I went, signs of him were always present. It was as if bad luck was upon me

_*sigh* Here we go again._

**Naruto:** Aaah! It’s (Y/N)-Sensei! Haha! Such a good timing!

The boy sprinted towards me.

 **(Y/N):** What’s up?  
**Naruto:** Uhm.. uhm…  
**(Y/N):** Do you need me or something?  
**Naruto:** Uh…. hehe. You see… there’s something we needed to ask.  
**(Y/N):** Okay?

He looked over to his teammates and they gave him a signal that kinda said, “Go for it.”

 **Naruto:** Come sit with us. I promise this won’t take long.  
**(Y/N):** Alright. But you owe me barbecue okay?  
**Naruto:** Waaaah!  
**(Y/N):** Just kidding.

I pat him on the head and walked towards the ramen house they were in. Ichiraku Ramen.

 **(Y/N):** Okay. What is this about? I hope it’s not about your sensei.

They looked at each other, hesitation clearly showing on their faces.

 **(Y/N):** Well, what is it?  
**Naruto:** We.. we.. we..  
**Naruto/Sakura/Sasuke:** We wanted to know what’s behind Kakashi-Sensei’s mask!

My eyes widened. 

_Am I suppose to answer them?_

They looked so serious and determined. But instead of answering them, I burst in laughter that I began to tear up.

 **Sakura:** Huh?  
**(Y/N):** Kakashi’s face? Hahahaha! Oh, you guys So adorable!

Their faces were unreadable.

 **Sasuke:** What’s up with her?  
**Naruto** : ** _*whispers*_** Maybe she’s making fun of Kakashi-Sensei’s face.  
**Sakura:** **_*whispers*_** Maybe she’s too embarrassed to tell us.

They waited until I was finally able to talk.

 **(Y/N):** Kakashi’s face, huh? It’s… 

Bracing themselves, they leaned closer.

 **(Y/N):** It’s…  
**Sakura:** Does he have lips like a blimp?  
**(Y/N):** What?  
**Sasuke:** Or buck teeth?  
**(Y/N):** Wait, what?  
**Naruto:** Or a small mouth?

I burst out in laughter again. 

Then, an idea came into mind. I told them to come closer. Which they did. Closer.. and closer.. and closer..

 **(Y/N):** **_*whispers*_ ** Let’s just say it was the reason why we broke up.  
**Naruto/Sakura/Sasuke:** Waaaaaaaah!  
**(Y/N):** Haha! I’m just kidding!  
**Naruto:** Oh, come on, (Y/N)-Sensei!  
**Sakura:** You’re probably the only one who’s seen it a thousand times.  
**(Y/N):** Alright. How do I put this? Why don’t you three find out for yourselves? Take it as part of your ninja training.  
**Sasuke:** Tch. That’s kind of lame. And don’t you think we never tried? We did everything we can but all our attempts were a failure.  
**(Y/N):** Well… You’ll never know. His face might be worse than you think.

I gave them an evil grin.

 **Naruto/Sakura/Sasuke:** Now, we’re really curious!  
**(Y/N):** Listen. If you succeed on this, I’ll treat you all to ramen or barbeque. How does that sound? I’ll even give you a photo of him unmasked!  
**Sakura:** You will?! I wonder how much will that cost!!  
**Naruto:** Alright! Let’s do this! Mission Got To See Kakashi-Sensei’s Face is on! 

**_*****_ **

I locked the door behind me and placed the groceries on the table. My walk from the market was surprisingly tiring.

I laid on the couch and thought about those three kids. I wondered how they would go about this self-imposed mission of theirs. As I tried to recall my conversation with them, I can’t help but chuckle a little.

_Kakashi’s face, huh? Yes. I remember the first time I saw it. That’s when we first…. no, nevermind._

**_  
  
**Start of flashback**_**

Kakashi and I were on a mission. Our team was composed of 6 members, led by Asuma Sarutobi, the Third Hokage’s son. The mission was to capture elite spies who were infiltrating a village.

 **Asuma:** Guy and I will head on to the village. Kakashi, you and (Y/N) will take the south of the village. Kurenai and Anko will take north. In case anything happens, increase your chakra so we’ll know where to find you. The east and west are surrounded by water, so it will be easier for us.  
**Kakashi:** Got it. Let’s go, (Y/N).  
**(Y/N):** Right.

I grinned at myself knowing that I was teaming up with Kakashi. We’ve gotten closer over the years, and I’ve began to develop strong feelings for him. In my heart, I longed for him to feel the same way too. Being the compassionate and kind-hearted man that he’s always been, it was hard for me to read and comprehend his actions towards me. 

Hours went by, there were still no signs of the enemy. The temperature was changing, which gave me chills. It would be reckless to start a fire so I just took the cold breeze in.

I set myself by the river and gazed at the moon. It was shining so bright. Its reflection on the water was marvelous!

As I enjoyed the view in front of me, I felt a heavy cloth hover over my body.

 **Kakashi:** Here. You must be cold.  
**(Y/N):** Oh.. thanks, Kakashi. But aren’t you cold too?  
**Kakashi:** Not at all. I can manage. You need it more than I do.

I smiled at his thoughtful gesture.

 **Kakashi:** Why don’t you go and rest? I’ll take the first watch.  
**(Y/N):** I’m fine.   
**Kakashi:** Are you sure?  
**(Y/N):** Yeah. Besides... I’m enjoying the view here.

He smiled and decided to watch the amazing scene with me. It was a very serene moment.

Minutes later, I decided to rest my head on his shoulder. He tensed up at first, but eventually simmered down when I moved closer to his warmth.

 **(Y/N):** It’s so beautiful..  
**Kakashi:** And here I am wishing that time would stop for us...

_What did he mean by that?_

**Kakashi:** (Y/N)? There’s… something I need to tell you.  
**(Y/N):** What is it?  
**Kakashi:** I.. I’ve been.. Lately, I’ve bee--

Out of nowhere, a shuriken came flying towards us. With our good reflexes, we were able to dodge it.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)! Are you hurt?!  
**(Y/N):** I’m alright. Did you see where it came from?  
**Kakashi:** Over there! Let’s go. They’re getting away!

Kakashi took off, but when I was about to follow him, I was hit by a big explosion behind me.

_Damn it. A paper bomb. I didn’t see that coming._

I lost consciousness for a few minutes. When I opened my eyes, I was already in Kakashi’s arms.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N), thank god you’re awake. We’ll meet up with the team and have your injuries patched up.  
**(Y/N):** It’s okay. You can put me down. I’m alright.  
**Kakashi:** No. You might injure yourself all the more.  
**(Y/N):** We’ll lose our enemies if we don’t chase after them.  
**Kakashi:** No. I can’t risk it.  
**(Y/N):** Kakashi, stop.   
**Kakashi:** I can’t.  
**(Y/N):** Please. Trust me. I can do this.  
**Kakashi:** But--  
**(Y/N):** I’m stronger than you think.

He finally complied.

In the end, we were able to seize and capture our targets, with the help of Team Asuma and Team Kurenai. It wasn’t an easy battle though, since it took quite a number of Kakashi’s chidori. In fact, I must have gone beyond my limit as well.

 **Kakashi:** You did an amazing job, (Y/N). But you did scare me for awhile back there.   
**(Y/N):** I told you to trust me. I’ll be al…

My eyesight started to blur.. I felt Kakashi’s strong arms before my vision turned black.

*********

I slowly opened my eyes. My body was terribly aching. Worse, I couldn’t move my arms and legs. It’s as if something heavy was pressed on to me. 

_Where am I? Is… is this the hospital?_

While studying my current surroundings, my eyes widened at the unforseen sight before me.

_Kakashi?!_

Seated right next to my bed, lounged on a chair, with an Icha Icha book on his hand. He was knocked unconcious.

Then, the sliding door rolled opened, and a hospital nurse made her way in.

 **Nurse:** Oh, you’re finally awake. How are you feeling?!  
**(Y/N):** Sshh.

I smiled at her while pointing a finger at Kakashi.

 **Nurse:** Oh. Right.  
**(Y/N):** Just feeling a bit heavy.How long has it been?  
**Nurse:** You’ve been out for 3 days.  
**(Y/N):** 3 days? I must have pushed my body too hard.  
**Nurse:** Yes. And it seems like it wasn’t able to handle whatever you did on your mission. But don’t worry. In a few more days, the numbness in your body will disappear. For now, please take time to rest.  
**(Y/N):** I see. I should be more careful next time.  
**Nurse:** You’ll be on a liquid fast today.   
**(Y/N):** Seriously?  
**Nurse:** But tomorrow, you can start eating something. Lessen your solid food intake though.  
**(Y/N):** Oh, well. Okay. **_*sigh*_ ** By the way.  
**Nurse:** Yes?  
**(Y/N):** Is.. he.. uhm.. injured?  
**Nurse:** Oh, you mean Mr. Kakashi? No. He’s just tired. He insisted on looking after you. He actually refused to go home.  
**(Y/N):** You mean, he stayed here with me for 3 days straight?  
**Nurse:** Well, not really. He did leave once everyday. But that was only to freshen up. He’ll be back here in no time. He barely slept, because he was so eager to see you regain consciousness.  
**(Y/N):** I see. Thanks for letting me know.  
**Nurse:** You should wake him up. I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you wide and awake. Anyway, ifyou need anything, just call me.

I leaned backwards at stared at Kakashi. The image of him melted my heart away. I decided not to wake him up so I could watch his sleeping form. I enjoyed every minute of it. The little snores he made almost permanently left a big smile on my face.

 _Kakashi. Thank you_.

**_*****_ **

Though my body has gotten better days before, I was still instructed to stay in. I had to wait until I was finally discharged from the hospital. It wasn’t much of a bother since it meant daily seeing Kakashi, one gentleman who never left my side. Even if he was just there reading his book, his presence alone made me so happy.

 **Kakashi:** I see that you’re done packing.  
**(Y/N):** Yeah, and I can’t wait to get home! Thank you so much for everything.  
**Kakashi:** My pleasure.. By the way.. I… uhm.. bought you this..

He handed over a bouquet of roses. His face was obviosuly flushed despite the material masking it.

_You’ve got to be kidding me?! Is he serious?! Oh my god! I wish I could scream out loud! Kakashi just gave me roses!_

**(Y/N):** Aww, Kakashi! Well, aren’t you a sweet one? I love it. Thank you! I’ll sure to display them at home.  
**Kakashi:** I.. I’m g-glad you like them.

The roses were still fresh and fragrant. Kakashi was all smiles, feeling all optimistic, while watching me smell into the petals.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)?  
**(Y/N):** Hmm?  
**Kakashi:** Is it okay.. if I walk you home?

_First, his hospital visits.. then, his roses… and now, he’s walking me home?! My my! I must be the luckiest lady!_

**(Y/N):** Sure. Why not?  
**Kakashi:** G-great! Well, uhm.. Let me have your things. I’ll carry them.  
**(Y/N):** Oh. Okay. Thank you.

It was surprisingly a quiet walk going home. But knowing that I was accompanied by Kakashi, I had nothing to complain about. My feelings for him have in fact gotten deeper. Especially after everything he’s been doing for me.

As soon as we arrived at my apartment, I quickly unpacked my things and went straight to the shower. A much awaited and needed warm shower it was. Meanwhile, Kakashi who asked to stay a little bit longer, patiently waited in the living room.

_Kakashi and I.. alone in my apartment.. no missions.. no trainings.. just the two of us having quality time together.. Luck might be on my side.._

**(Y/N):** Sorry, I took so long. I’ve been dying to take a shower.

He silently sat there and couldn’t take his eyes off of me.

 **(Y/N):** Kakashi?  
**Kakashi:** Huh? Did you say something?  
**(Y/N):** I said I’m sorry for taking too long. **  
****Kakashi:** Oh, don’t worry about it. 

He gave me a sweet grin in return.

 **Kakashi:** I prepared tea for you. I hope you don’t mind.  
**(Y/N):** It’s perfect. Thank you.

He carefully watched me sip into the tea as we decided to chat about our recent mission. Little by little, it turned into a deep and meaningful conversation. Our bodies unmindfully shifted closer to each other, getting rid of the spaces in between. 

**(Y/N):** Kakashi..  
**Kakashi:** Hmm?  
**(Y/N):** I want you to do something for me. But promise me you won’t get mad.  
**Kakashi:** Is it something that will make me mad?  
**(Y/N):** I don’t know. Well, I hope it won’t.  
**Kakashi:** Okay. What is it, then?  
**(Y/N):** Can you take off that mask of yours?

After looking a bit confused, he evetually complied to my request.

 **Kakashi:** Uh.. suure. No problem.

My emotions hightened.

He…. was so beautiful. I wondered why he chose to conceal such a gorgeous face.

 **Kakashi:** Is... something wrong? Do I need to put it back on?!

I couldn't answer him. I was still in awe of what I was seeing.

 **(Y/N)** : I… wish I can see this face everyday.

I didn’t know what came to me, but I slowly inclined towards him and gave him a kiss. It took my mind a few seconds to register what I’ve just done, and I quickly drew back.

 **(Y/N):** I’m sorry! I.. I don’t know what came to me!  
**Kakashi:** Well.. that.. was unexpected..  
**(Y/N):** That was so stupid of me! I’m sorry..  
**Kakashi:** No! Not at all.. I just wasn’t... expecting you to initiate it.  
**(Y/N):** What?  
**Kakashi:** I.. I just.. No.. I mean.. I..  
**(Y/N):** What is it?

He moaned before gently taking my chin.

 **Kakashi:** I was really planning on telling you what I feel.. and.. I.. (Y/N).. I.. I.. Tch. Damn it.

He tugged me closer.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N).. I can’t stop thinking about you! I already took a liking to you when were kids. But as we grew older.. as we’ve gotten closer.. I began feeling something else. It’s so much stronger than what I usually feel. It’s like.. I can’t imagine myself without you. I always want to be with you. I go a little crazy when you’re out there in your missions, while I’m desperately trying to figure out your current condition. It hurts not knowing if you’re okay. I.. I think.. I’ve really fallen so hard for you, (Y/N). I mean.. I.. I... I.. Tch. I love you... And now, I hope that kiss wasn’t just nothing. I hope you feel the same way too.. Because if you don’t, I’m not sure if I can take it. 

I was speechless. I couldn’t find the right words to say. I just couldn’t. I was taken aback by his sudden confession. 

**Kakashi:** Can you please say something? Your silence.. it’s somehow killing me, you know?

Sweat on his forehead. Eyebrows furrowed. Heavy breaths coming out of his mouth.

Before his stress could completely devour him, I giggled and captured his lips again.

 **(Y/N):** You worry too much, Kakashi. Just kiss me..

We proceeded with the kiss. I felt Kakashi smile as we did so.

The soft kisses deepened. Our tongues found each other and chose not to let go. Sooner or later, we both rested on the couch while still pursuing the newly discovered intimacy. I could feel Kakashi’s body contracting. However, he was cautiously shunning his body away, scared that I might feel something hardening right below him.

 **Kakashi:** Wait.. (Y/N).. I’m sorry.. Can.. we pause for a minute?

I refused. Instead, I shifted my body, to willfully nab his lower body in between my legs. As soon as he fell on me, with his rock solid cock pressed to my thigh, he promtly retreated.

 **Kakashi:** I’m sorry! I.. I didn’t mean to.. **_*sigh*_** Damit it. I’m sorry. This was so disrespectful of me.

_Such a sweet gentleman._

I held unto his sleeves and pulled him closer.

 **(Y/N):** It’s okay. I’m ready for this.  
**Kakashi:** We don’t have to do this now. Really. I can wait.  
**(Y/N):** Like I said, you worry too much.. Just do what you want to do with me.

Started by what I said, he became silent. But then, a lustful grin suddenly appeared. We continued to where we stopped. This time, he didn’t hesitate on pinning me down, with his growing bulge rubbing through my stomach. The heat inside tensed up. I craved for him to fill me.

 **(Y/N):** Kakashi… my.. bed..

He nodded and lifted me up. As he carried me to my bedroom, I got rid of my shirt until my whole upper body was naked right before him.

 **Kakashi:** You’re so beautiful.

Pieces of our clothing fell on the floor as we hungrily and passionately invaded each other.

 **Kakashi:** I… I want you, (Y/N). I’ve always wanted you.

My back hit the mattress which made me all the more nervous and excited. I restlessly watched as he knelt in front of me, his eyes moving up and down, exploring everything of me.

 **Kakashi:** You’re perfect.. god.. I can’t wait to feel you. But before we go on, are you really sure about this?

I nodded.

He slid down his tight boxers, revealing a a thick hot flesh that I longed to feel inside of me. His hands landed both his hands on my knees, and slowly spread them. The view he saw fed all the lusts he was feeling. He looked so fired up, badly wanting to feel me and ravish me inside.

He pushed his long and hard length inside of me. A strong and loud moan came out of his mouth as he shut his eyes and lifted his head up.

 **(Y/N):** Aaah!  
**Kakashi:** W-what’s wrong?! Does it hurt?! Are you okay?!  
**(Y/N):** A.. a little.. but it’s okay.. please don’t stop..  
**Kakashi:** Okay. I’m sorry.. I’ll start slowly.

He was a little too big. It really hurt at first, but I soon got used to it, and all I could feel was the pleasure he shared with me.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N), it… it feels so warm.. it feels good. Hmmaah!   
**(Y/N):** Kakashi! Hmaahh.. I can.. I can feel you.. harder.. please.. don’t hold back.

His pounding got deeper and stronger. I could feel his whole length smashing inside of me. It felt so good. I didn’t want him to stop.

The bed was shaking and creaking as he continuously penetrated me. The room was filled with our lustful moans and whispers of each other’s names.

 **Kakashi:** I love you..  
**(Y/N):** I.. love you too.. hmmahh..

I could see all the lust in his face. Eyes closed, teeth clench, skin slapping into each other, lude sounds coming from our connection. They all turned me on. He grabbed the headboard and pushed harder and deeper. I held on to him as he did, creating marks on his back. 

**Kakashi:** (Y/N)... Hmmmngg.. I’m… I’m close.. I’m so close!  
**(Y/N):** Lets.. do it together..

After a few movements in and out, we both stiffened as we’ve reached orgasm.

 **Kakashi:** I’m.. cumming! Hmmaaaahhhh!

He remained inside, doing a few more thrusts, before releasing himself and rolling to my side. We couldn’t utter a word. All we had was our hard panting. Sweat all over our bodies. So we waited until we can finally speak.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N).. **_*panting*_ ** Stay with me. I will take care of you. I’ll give you all the love I have. 

He took my snuggle as a yes. After kissing me on my forehead, he rolled back on top of me. He was amazingly so hard again.

 **(Y/N):** Well, aren’t you a little excited?

He chuckled.

 **Kakashi:** I.. I’ve actually never done this with anyone before.. I’m glad you’re my first.  
**(Y/N):** I‘m glad you’re my first too..

A confident smile appeared on his face **.**

 ** _  
_ ** **Kakashi:** Damn. I’m so madly in love with you.. I’m the happiest man right now.

**_**End of flashback**_ **


	5. Stranger In A Foreign Land

It was like a few minutes ago when I had just gotten home from a mission, and now I’ve been summoned again to the Hokage’s office.

_*sigh* It seems like there’s no resting for me, then.._

With all the missions I’ve been getting, I was starting to miss all the D-Rank missions I had back in the old days. They’re a whole lot easier. I can accomplish them without a sweat.

 **(Y/N):** Lady Tsunade.  
**Lady Tsunade:** Come in.

As soon as I entered the room, I quickly saw Kakashi’s silver gray hair, and I became indignant about it. Kakashi just let out a worried smile while rubbing his head.

 **Lady Tsunade:** I’m sure you’re wondering why of all people, I chose the two of you for this mission. You’re the only ones available right now. Trust me, the last thing I want to do is to put you two together, given that you’ve been recently failing your missions together. If you’re not failing them you’re either getting someone into trouble.

Both Kakashi and I looked at each other, kind of feeling embarrassed by her words. All she said was true, given that we were always so engrossed in each other, being ineffective in our missions. Even someone as reliable as Kakashi had to admit that.

 **Lady Tsunade:** But I guess I have no choice. All I can do is to put my faith in you guys. Isn’t that right, Kakashi?  
**Kakashi:** Y-yes ma’am.  
**Lady Tsunade:** (Y/N)?  
**(Y/N):** Yes, Lady Tsunade.

She was damn right scary. Just looking at her eyes was enough to rattle me. We couldn’t help but comply.

 **Lady Tsunade:** All right, then. 

It was an A-Rank mission. Our job was to escort a geologist of the Hidden Stone Village from the Land of the Earth. He recently finished conducting his research on a mountain near the Hidden Leaf Village. His research holds great value to his community since he’s been doing a study on different minerals. And if combined, they can produce even the most powerful earth style jutsu. If his research fell into the wrong hands, it can be used for destruction, enough to crush an entire village.

 **Lady Tsunade:** Bring in our visitor.

A young man was escorted inside. He was extremely handsome that it made Shizune and I blush so hard. He had black locks with bangs falling on his brown orbs. I was amazed by his features. Lady Tsunade and Kakashi were quick to notice the changes in my demeanor.

 **Lady Tsunade:** **_*coughs*_** I’d like you to meet, Kabuki.

He gave us a bright and warm smile. It irked Kakashi to see my face redden up.

 **Kabuki:** Hi. I go by many names, but for security reasons, you may call me, Kabuki.

He walked towards Lady Tsunade and knelt before her.

 **Kabuki:** My lady, it is such an honor to meet the Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village. I am beyond grateful to be under your protection. I am undeserving and yet you treat me as such. 

He took Lady Tsunade’s hand and kissed it. She completely turned red with the touch of his lips. It’s like the grumpy old lady suddenly turned into a flattered little teenager. He stood up and did the same thing with Shizune. Then, his eyes met mine.

 **Kabuki:** I’ve always heard about the shinobi in this village. But I never thought you‘d have such a beautiful shinobi too.

My jaw just dropped. 

He walked towards me and I didn’t know how to respond with the way he looked at me. I was all flustered. Each footstep made my heart beat faster. I was already imagining him kneeling before me. But before he could do so, in a blink of an eye, Kakashi was already standing right in front of me. He held out his hand for a hand shake.

 **Kakashi:** Hi. I’m Kakashi Hatake. This is (Y/N) (L/N). I’m her partner in this mission.

_Partner? Really, Kakashi? Really?_

**Kabuki:** Oh, it’s nice to meet you Mr. Kakashi. I apologize. I didn’t mean to be rude. I just didn’t notice you.  
**Lady Tsunade:** Alright, (Y/N). Why don’t you show our **_client_ **around the village, while Kakashi and I discuss on an important matter.

Yes, she really emphasized on the word, client, making sure that everything I do will be purely based on a business relationship. Meanwhile, I wondered what she and Kakashi had to talk about.

**  
Kakashi’ POV**

I didn’t know why, but I felt a little off with what I was seeing. Even if he was just being a charming gentleman to the ladies, I wasn't much into the kissing of hands. I found it all too much, especially if he was going to do it to (Y/N). Nevertheless, he was a client. It wouldn’t be nice to show a negative reaction to what he’s doing. All I can do is to intercede when it doesn't seem right anymore.

 **Lady Tsunade:** Kakashi. I just want to make sure that there will be no problems in this mission. And when I say problems, I meant you and (Y/N).  
**Kakashi:** Everything will be okay. You have my word.  
**Lady Tsunade:** Also, I wanted to ask you something.  
**Kakashi:** What is it?  
**Lady Tsunade:** Has your feelings for (Y/N) changed?

I was caught off guard by her words, but I remained calm.

 **Kakashi:** Not to be rude, my Lady. But I’ve already accomplished that difficult mission you commanded me to do. Would that not be enough? Whether or not I still love (Y/N) should be out of the question.  
**Lady Tsunade:** Indeed. You’ve followed my orders even if it seemed to be harder than an S-Rank mission. But I’m not sure if I can fully rely on your emotional state at this moment, knowing that this will be your first mission with her in a very long time.  
**Kakashi:** You’ve given me this new mission. Let me show you that I am capable of controlling my emotions whatever the circumstances are. It will be just like the last mission you gave me.  
**Lady Tsunade:** The heart is deceitful, Kakashi. Be careful.  
**Kakashi:** Yes, ma’am.  
**Lady Tsunade:** You leave the village tomorrow at dawn. You’re dismissed.

**Your POV**

I’ve forgotten to ask Lady Tsunade about a specific detail on the mission, so I ran back to her office. But before I could open the door, I accidentally overheard her conversation with Kakashi. 

_What mission are they talking about? Harder than an S-Rank mission? What does it have to do with me? And does Kakashi still have feelings for me? What is going on?_

_********* _

Reaching the Hidden Stone Village will take about 3 days, especially if we were travelling by foot. I was worried if I’ll be able to handle myself knowing that it’s going to be a long journey with Kakashi. I didn’t want my focus to be diverted again. I’ve given Lady Tsunade so many failed missions because of him, and I didn’t want to lose her confidence and trust in me.

Kabuki gave nothing but compliments on how beautiful the surroundings were. He would explain to us the different types of rocks and soils and the importance of each mineral. I had no interest in them whatsoever, but he sounded like a very intelligent man with the way he explained things. The fact that he knew so many things impressed me.

 **Kabuki:** Ms. (Y/N).  
**(Y/N):** Oh, just call me (Y/N). Lets get rid of all the formalities, shall we?

Kakashi raised an eyebrow but he quickly looked back to the pathway.

 **Kabuki:** This is for you.

It was a small stone that showed a vast number of colors.

 **(Y/N):** Wow! It’s… it’s beautiful! What is it?!  
**Kabuki** : It’s an opal. A Luz Opal to be specific. I found it in one of the caves near our village. If you look closely, it’s like you can see the stars inside.  
**(Y/N):** Amazing! But..  
**Kabuki:** What’s wrong, Ms. (Y/N)?  
**(Y/N):** This might be a little too much to give away, don’t you think? And again, please just call me (Y/N).  
**Kabuki:** Don’t worry, (Y/N). I have more of those back at home. Please accept it.  
**(Y/N):** Are you sure?  
**Kabuki:** Of course! Anything for a beautiful lady like you. See? It brings so much color to your eyes.

Kakashi quietly walked past us and tried to get ahead. His seemed a little upset, but I didn’t want to be bothered by it.

 **Kabuki:** Is Mr. Kakashi, okay?  
**(Y/N):** Oh, don’t mind him. He might just be observing the area. He needs to make sure you’re safe. He.. uhm.. gets a little serious sometimes on missions.  
**Kabuki:** I understand. I’m grateful to be protected by shinobi of the HIdden Leaf Village, especially by Mr. Kakashi. I was told that he was one promising and exceptional Jōnin.  
**(Y/N):** I… uhm.. Y-yes.. He is..  
**Kabuki:** You are a Jōnin too, right?  
**(Y/N):** Yes, I am. You are in good hands.  
**Kabuki:** I’m glad to hear that.

**_*****_ **

Kabuki was getting tired from the journey, so Kakashi asked that we take a rest for the night. The forest was pitch black. The source of light we only had was from the moon and the campfire that Kakashi was making.

There was a river nearby so I thought of gathering water for our us.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)? You must be tired too.

I just looked at him without saying a single word.

 **Kakashi:** Let me do it.

I still didn’t answer.

 **Kakashi:** You can rest--  
**(Y/N):** I’m fine!  
**Kakashi:** I… okay. I’m sorry. I.. just let me know if you need anything.

He slowly walked away. Little did I know that Kabuki was watching the whole drama I made.

I went back to our campsite and Kabuki was already asleep. But Kakashi was nowhere to be found. Not that I was worried about him. I knew he can take care of himself. But I wondered why he left our client all alone.. until I saw some food beside my backpack and a note on top of it.

_(Y/N), I prepared your dinner. The area is safe. Kabuki is safe. But I need to secure a wider perimeter. Please eat and get some rest. I’ll be back in an hour. - Kakashi_

I sighed upon reading it. Nevertheless, I still took and ate the food he had prepared.

After my meal, I walked back to the river and sat by it. It was somehow a habit of mine. The cool breeze and the sound of flowing water brought peace to my mind. 

An hour went by, the air started to get cold. I wanted to stay longer, but the temperature was intoletable. I took it as my cue to leave. But then, I felt a warm blanket fall on my body. 

_Why is this such a familiar scene?_

I knew it was Kakashi. He quietly sat beside me.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)?  
**(Y/N):** What do you want?  
**Kakashi:** There’s just something I want to tell you.  
**(Y/N):** We have nothing to talk about.  
**Kakashi:** Please hear me out. Just this once.

I was about to say something very negative but…

 **Kakashi** : I know you hate me. I’m completely aware of that. You have all the reasons to. Your reasons are valid. Whatever it is you’re feeling, I’m not going to try and change it. But.. I care about you, (Y/N). And I will always care about you despite your cold shoulder and treatment towards me. You will always have a special place in my heart. I honestly want us to be friends again, but I’m not going to ask that from you. No. Whatever it is you want, I’ll respect that. Whatever it is you feel about me, I’ll understand. So you can hate me until your last breath. I don’t mind at all. But...

He stopped for awhile…

 **Kakashi:** But for this mission, I only ask that you don’t treat me like an enemy. If we want to succeed in this mission, you can at least treat me as someone who has the same goal as yours. And that is to protect Kabuki. That is what matters now. We... we don’t have to be friends. But... we don’t have to be enemies either. So, for the sake of this mission, I hope that we can at least treat each other as allies... and with a little respect.

After a moment of silence, he slowly stood up, knowing that I wasn’t going to answer him.

 **(Y/N):** Understood.

He stopped to look back at me, before walking again.

I sat by the river a couple of minutes more, pondering on what he told me. We do have the same goal. And it wouldn’t help if I don’t properly communicate with him.

After realizing that I still had his blanket on, I thought of how cold he must have been. I walked back to the campsite, seeing Kakashi slightly shaking on his bedding.

_This guy…. He brags about caring for me and all that. But he doesn’t even consider his own health._

I approached his shivering form and dropped the blanket on his body.

 **Kakashi:** Huh? Oh, thanks.

I laid on my own bedding as well. But before closing my eyes..

 **(Y/N):** For the record.. I don’t hate you. 

He smiled as I rolled my body away from him.

 **Kakashi:** **_*whispers*_ ** Good to know.

_********* _

Our journey continued. The trees were getting fewer as he we headed towards a rocky path. It was like we were about to enter a valley that had no life in it. Worse, the sun’s heat was becoming unbearable. The surroundings made it feel like it was sucking the life out of me. I couldn’t imagine how Kabuki constantly traveled in a place like this one.

 **Kabuki:** Mr. Kakashi?  
**Kakashi:** What is it?   
**Kabuki:** We need to walk towards those rocks. At this hour, the sun will not be healthy for us.  
**Kakashi:** What do you mean?  
**Kabuki:** It can reach to a degree where it can burn our skin.  
**Kakashi:** I see. Okay. Show us the way. (Y/N), go with him. I’ll be right behind you.

I nodded. 

The next thing I know, we were already climbing on gigantic rocks. It was not as simple as climbing a mountain, since the rocks had pieces of stones on them, which made it slippery. One wrong step can lead to serious injuries. I looked at Kabuki and was surprised to see him, like he was just strolling around the park. He was probably used to this. I continued to follow him. But as we were about to reach a more leveled path, I stepped on a rock that went loose from the cliff. I fell along with it. But focusing my chakra on my hand, I was able to hold unto a larger rock.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)!

I tried to pull myself up, but I suddenly felt this pain on my right hand. I was surprised to see a large amount of blood on the rock I was holding.

_Hang in there… You’re not going to die because of some stupid rocks, (Y/N)._

My hand was slowly letting go. 4 fingers… 3 fingers… 2 fingers..

 **Kakashi:** I got you! Just hold on!

I felt my body being pulled up.

 **Kakashi:** Almost there. You’ll be alright.

Finally, I’ve reached the top. Kabuki cried out to me and he climbed back down, while Kakashi quickly took off the gloves from my hand.

 **(Y/N):** I’m alright, Kakashi.. You can let go now..

He didn’t say a word, but continued to look closely at my hand. He reached for a bottle of water and a kit of bandages and medicine. After washing the blood off, it appeared that I received a long and deep cut on my hand.

 **Kakashi:** The cut is deep. You’ll be needing stitches. In the meantime, I’ll cover it up with the bandages.  
**Kabuki:** (Y/N), this is all my fault. I’m sorry.  
**(Y/N):** No, Kabuki. It’s not your fault. I just stepped on the wrong rock. That’s all.  
**Kabuki:** I thought the rocks were stable. But it appears that the sun’s heat are far worse than I thought. The rocks are moving.  
**Kakashi:** Kabuki, how far are we from the safest path? We need to get out of here.

Kabuki led us out to a safe and covered area while Kakashi held my left hand as we climbed over a few more rocks. My right hand felt heavier because of the pain. As we gazed over the valley. We can’t help but see smoke coming out. Remaining there, out in the open, would surely burn our skin.

 **Kakashi:** How long will this last? We need to get (Y/N) to the nearest medical center.  
**Kabuki:** Around 3-4 hours. There is a small town nearby..  
**Kakashi:** I see. That’s too long though. We need to double our speed once we get out if this place.  
**Kabuki:** Hang in there, (Y/N).  
**(Y/N):** Don’t worry about me. I’ve had worse. Better me than you, right?  
**Kabuki:** You’re too kind.

Kakashi sullenly looked away. Clearly, he didn’t seem happy about everything.

We waited for the scorching heat to weaken. And when it was safe for us to go out in the open, we left as soon as possible.

_**  
******* _

We took another break at nightfall. Fortunately, we already reached the small town. We stayed in one of their small inns.

I stared at my newly stitched up hand because it was starting to feel numb. Taking a deep breath, I felt a little upset for allowing this to happen. I didn’t want to become a burden, especially when I was supposed to be protecting someone else.

 **Kakashi:** Let me take a look.

He sat in front of me and delicately fixed the bandages. There were still little bloodstains.

 **Kakashi:** Feeling better?  
**(Y/N):** It’s.. nothing.

The way he held my hand and the way he showed so much concern made me feel uneasy.

_Why are you doing this? Why are you treating me this way? Why? It’s making me miss you again._

**Kabuki:** Dinner is ready!

I quickly pulled my hand away. I didn’t realize how intimate we were getting.

 **Kakashi:** Great! I’ve been wanting something to eat.

Kabuki ran to me and held out a hand.

 **Kabuki:** Let me help you, (Y/N).  
**(Y/N):** Oh, I’m fine.  
**Kabuki:** No, please. I insist.

I took his hand. But with that, I received another little sullen look from Kakashi.

The table was loaded with delicious food! The tavern may seem small, but they were sure generous to their customers. There were so many choices that I didn’t know where to start. Grabbing my chopsticks, a painful thought hit me... 

_How am I supposed to eat with my left hand?_

Kabuki was quick to notice the change in my mood. To my surprise, he slowly took my chopsticks. Kakashi ceased munching on his food as he fiercely examined Kabuki’s movements.

 **Kabuki:** Here. Let me help you.   
**(Y/N):** W-what?! No, no, I’m fine!  
**Kabuki:** It’s the least I can do.  
**(Y/N):** But..

My cheeks were changing colors again. Deep inside, I wanted to be fed by the handsome man, but I knew I couldn’t. If Lady Tsunade knew about this, she would be furious. 

**Kabuki:** Here, take a bite.

He was being sweet and thoughtful. And I didn’t want to decline his thoughtfulness. So I decided to just accept his kind gesture. I opened my mouth…but then, Kakashi gripped Kabuki’s wrist.

 **Kakashi:** Hold it right there.  
**Kabuki:** Wh-what’s the matter, Mr. Kakashi?

_What do you think you’re doing, Kakashi? Are you insane?_

Not wanting to be obvious, I pretended not to be bothered by it.

 **Kakashi:** I’m sorry, but (Y/N) is allergic to prawns.

Kabuki looked so repentant.

 **Kabuki:** Oh dear! I’m so sorry, (Y/N)! I didn’t know!  
**(Y/N):** Hey, hey. Relax. Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing. A small bite wouldn’t hurt, right?

Kakashi shot an aggravated glance at me.

 **Kakashi:** You shouldn’t risk it, (Y/N)!  
**Kabuki:** Mr. Kakashi is right. Allergies get worse every time.

Feeling so annoyed, I decided to just take the chopsticks from Kabuki. I didn’t want to argue with our client even if I was undeniably enjoying his special treatment towards me.

I tried my best to use my left hand. A few meats fell from it, but still, I was able to swallow a bunch. Kabuki just anxiously watched me.

 **Kakashi:** Here, (Y/N).

He held his chopsticks to my mouth, expecting me to take a bite.

 **Kakashi:** Come on, (Y/N). It’s your favorite.

_Are you seriously kidding me, Kakashi?! Damn it! You are so annoying! Stop ruining every moment!_

I ignored Kakashi, but he still insisted.

 **Kabuki:** Go ahead, (Y/N). You need to eat. It’s your favorite after all. It will be rude to decline Mr. Kakashi.

I hesitantly took a bite, not wanting to give Kabuki a negative impression of me. But after doing so, I gave Kakashi an angry glare. It was so scary that he choked at the thought of me being furious at him. So he decided to just smile and back away. It wasn’t clear what his motives were. But for some reason, I felt he was doing it on purpose. Not wanting to ruin my meal, I sighed and just shrugged the thoughts off from my head.

I’ve had enough troubles for the day.


	6. Past Trauma Awakened

**Kakashi’s POV**

  
We were now on the third day of our mission. Though we were getting closer to our destination, there was something about it that didn’t feel right at all. I somehow found myself wrestling with thoughts of the past. The Hidden Leaf Village never had a good and solid relationship with the Hidden Stone Village. After the all that happened during the Third Shinobi War and all the suspicious activities that the Hidden Stone Village has done, I couldn’t help but feel uneasy. I trusted that the Hokage wouldn’t give us missions without further investigation, but I was still a little troubled.

_I just hope that the reports from the Anbu Black Ops are liable. Still, I shouldn’t let my guard down. I’m sure (Y/N) and I will be facing powerful shinobi along the way._

The further we went inside the Land of the Earth’s territory, I’ve been feeling an unusual presence. My senses were telling me that we were now being followed.

 **(Y/N):** What is it, Kakashi?  
**Kakashi:** Stay close to Kabuki.

A thick mist started to form around us.

 **(Y/N):** A mist? In the middle of the desert?  
**Kakashi:** Be careful, both of you.

“Kakashi…”

I looked behind me, only to see that (Y/N) and Kabuki were no longer there. I called out to them but I only got silence in return.  
  
**Kakashi:** (Y/N)! Increase you chakra so I'll know where to find you!  
  
_Damn it… even my sense of smell is not working. Where are they? Should I go look for them? No. I can't go wandering around this mist. That will be dangerous._  
  
“Kakashi… Kakashi…”

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)! Is that you?

The voice went on. But it wasn’t (Y/N). It was getting louder and louder. And to my surprise, there stood a girl right in front of me.  
  
My heart stopped.

_Rin?!_

**Kakashi:** Impossible.  
**Rin:** Kakashi..  
**Kakashi:** Wh-what are you doing here?  
**Rin:** Why are you helping that villager from the Hidden Stone Village? Don’t you remember what they did to Obito?!  
**Kakashi:** This.. this.. Isn’t happening.   
**Rin:** Why, Kakashi? Don't you care about Obito?  
**Kakashi:** Obito? He's... he's dead. **  
****Rin:** That's because you failed to protect him.  
**Kakashi:** That’s not true..   
**Rin:** And so am I..  
**Kakashi:** Stop it!  
**Rin:** You killed me, remember?  
**Kakashi:** No! Get out of my head!  
**Rin:** And now… (Y/N) will die too.

_Damn it. Kakashi. Focus! This is just an illusion. Focus.._

Suddenly, all I could hear were (Y/N)’s screams. It was like a thousand voices of hers were screaming into my ears. I couldn’t take it. Seeing Rin again and hearing (Y/N) were unbearable. _Do something, Kakashi. Do something!_

 **Kakashi:** Hmmngaahhhh! RELEASE!!!

I fell on my knees as heavy breaths came out of me.

 **(Y/N):** Kakashi! Are you alright?! What happened?!  
**Kakashi:** (Y/N).. You’re… you’re okay..  
**(Y/N):** Who were you talking to?! You called out to me.. But we were just behind you. What’s happening to you?  
**Kakashi:** I… I’m fine.. This is nothing.  
**Kabuki:** Mr. Kakashi, I don’t think you are.

I stood up and stepped closer to them.

 **Kakashi:** The mist.. It‘s an Illusionary Mist.  
**(Y/N):** You’re trembling, Kakashi. What kind of illusions did you see? You don’t seem okay.  
**Kakashi:** Come out and show yourself!

The mist slowly turned into a strong whirlwind. Then, we heard a vile and treacherous laugh. A man appeared in front of us.

“Well, well, well. I am impressed. You were able to defeat that illusion... Kakashi of the Sharingan.”

  
**(Y/N):** Who are you?!   
**Kabuki:** Aito. A rogue ninja who used to be from the Hidden Stone Village.  
**Aito:** Ha! Kabuki, are you still playing innocent? You do know the crimes that our village has done to the Hidden Leaf Village.   
**Kabuki:** Tch.  
**Aito:** Don’t act like you had nothing to do with it. You have some guts to ask for protection from the place you’ve betrayed.  
**Kabuki** : I’ve made the mistake of trusting such people with my research. People like you. People like you don’t deserve to be a shinobi.  
**Aito:** Are you trying to hurt my feelings? How pitiful your last words will be. You will die--  
**Kakashi:** The only one who will die here is you.

His eyes turned dark. I could feel his bloodlust.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N). Get Kabuki out of here.  
**(Y/N):** What? I’m not leaving you to fight this guy alone.  
**Kakashi:** Don’t worry. I can handle this. Kabuki’s safety is our top priority. We need to bring him to the village the soonest.  
**(Y/N):** What if more of them come?  
**Kakashi:** I’ll just have to fight them off too. Just go and get Kabuki out of here. If I don’t get to you by sunset, you can come back here with reinforcements.

She let out soft curses before complying to my order.

 **(Y/N):** Make sure to be there by sunset.  
**Aito:** You’re not going anywhere with that traitor!

He attacked (Y/N) with Earth Spear jutsu but I was able to block them with my kunai knives.

 **Kakashi:** Your fight is with me!  
**Aito:** You’ll die here, Kakashi!

Aito and I went into battle until (Y/N) and Kabuki were nowhere to be seen. I tried to buy them some time.

Based on observations, I figured that he used to one of their Jōnins before becoming a rogue ninja. He attacked me with earth techniques right after another, while I counterattacked him with my fire and lighting techniques.  
  
_He can use earth chakra... but that mist illusion. That wasn't just mist of a water chakra. It must be some kind of Ying. Is that even possible for a shinobi like him?_

 **Aito:** You’ll never beat me, Friend-Killer-Kakashi! Even with your Sharingan!

_That nickname… now, you’ve crossed the line._

**Kakashi:** Sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t think I’ll be needing my Sharingan in order to defeat you. This ends here! Chidori!!!

**Your POV**

I was able to bring Kabuki safely back into his village. But it was already nearing nightfall and Kakashi was still nowhere to be found. I stood by the village entrance as the sun slowly disappeared and the sky became darker. 

_Kakashi… where the hell are you?_

Kabuki carefully watched me as I anxiously waited for Kakashi.

 **Kabuki:** You care about him.   
**(Y/N):** Huh? I’m sorry. What was that?  
**Kabuki:** Mr. Kakashi. He seems to be that one person who gets in your nerves.  
**(Y/N):** Oh. Yes. He definitely is.  
**Kabuki:** But at the same time, he also seems to be that one and only person who can make you very happy. And make you feel things that other people can’t make you feel..

I couldn’t utter a word.  
  
**Kabuki:** I’ve only known both of you for two days. But when I watch you, I can see this deep love and care you have for each other. I couldn’t help but wonder what your relationship with Mr. Kakashi is….. or was.

He smiled at me.

 **Kabuki:** But of course, you don’t have to answer me. It’ll be disrespectful to get into your personal lives. I just wanted to express my curiosity. And.. wait-- It’s Mr. Kakashi!

I was so relieved to see him alive. But something wasn’t right.

 **Kabuki:** No. He’s injured! Mr. Kakashi!

We rushed to his limping form.

 **Kabuki:** Medic! We need a medic! Quickly!

He plunged to the ground as soon as he entered the village.

 **(Y/N):** Kakashi! Wake up! Stay with us. Will get you to the hospital now.  
**Kakashi:** (Y/N)... It’s… it’s okay.. I’m.. fine.  
**(Y/N):** Yes. You’ll be alright.. So stay with us.  
**Kakashi:** I’m sorry.. I’m late.. It.. it seems… I got lost in.. the.. path of life.

He chuckled before passing out.  
  
_*********_

**Kakashi’s POV**

_This large tree… ths valley… this big rock I’m standing on. Why does this seem familiar?_

_  
_ There stood a yellow-haired man, looking over the valley.

 **Kakashi:** Minato-Sensei? Is… is that you?  
**Minato:** Kakashi, you’re awake. How are you feeling?  
**Kakashi:** I’m okay.. I guess. I just feel weak. Where are we?  
**Minato:** Don’t you remember?

I looked back to where the big rock was, but the surroundings have suddenly changed. The valley has turned into a dark forest. The atmosphere turned cold and heavy. I didn’t like what I was feeling.

 **Kakashi:** Where am I?! Minato-Sensei!

I heard a cry from beneath the rock, so I came for a closer look. There was a boy beneath it. Half of his body was crushed by the rock.

 **Kakashi:** Obito! No!!

I stretched out my arm, creating the most powerful chidori I've ever made. And I struck the rock in one big blow. However, not a single scratch could be seen on the surface.

 **Kakashi:** I’m going to get you out!!!

I did one more blow.. and another one.. I went on until I didn't have enough chakra left.

_Why isn’t it working?! What the hell is going on?! Why can’t I save him!_

**Minato:** Kakashi.  
**Kakashi:** Minato-Sensei! Please help me! Obito will die!! Help me!  
**Minato:** Didn’t I tell you to stop using that jutsu of yours?  
**Kakashi:** Wh-what?  
**Minato:** Look at what you did, Kakashi!

I looked back to where Obito laid, but he and the rock were no longer there. Instead, it was Rin who was now lying cold on the ground. There was this hole on her body. Blood came out of it. It wouldn’t stop. It just kept on flowing out of her.

 **Minato:** If you only listened to me, Rin will be still alive. See what you’ve done to her. You’re a killer.  
**Kakashi:** Stop it, Sensei! I don’t want to hear it! Stop it! Please! 

Kakashi..  
What good is it if you became a Jonin?  
What good is it if you became a captain?  
You killed Obito.  
You killed Rin.  
You’re a failure.  
You've failed to protect my wife.  
You’ve failed the Anbu Black Ops.  
You don’t deserve to be captain.  
You don’t deserve to be a Jonin.  
You don’t deserve to be a ninja.  
You’ve failed everyone.  
You’re a failure.  
You’re a killer.  
And soon, (Y/N) will die.

 **Kakashi:** No! Please! Stop! No! No! Not her!

I woke up to the sight of (Y/N) desperately trying to calm me down.  
  
**(Y/N):** Kakashi, it’s okay! You’re okay! It’s just a dream! It’s not real!

I exhaled in agony. It was as if she just pulled my drowning body out of the water.

 **(Y/N):** Breathe, Kakashi.. breathe.. You’re okay..

I could feel the strain in my muscles as my heart palpitated.

The thought of seeing (Y/N), safe and sound, couldn’t stop me from bursting out my emotions. I didn’t hesitate to pull her into my arms, as her presence gave me so much relief and comfort. It’s like she just released me from an excruciating suffocation.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N).. you’re.. you’re okay.. you’re safe.. thank god..

I drew her closer to me, not wanting to let go, while I unknowingly shed little tears.

**Your POV**

Kakashi looked so terrified. It’s been awhile since I‘ve last seen him like this. I could hear his heartbeat as he held me in his trembling body, which was soaked in sweat.

 **(Y/N):** I‘m alright.. you’re alright.. it was just a dream..

With the way things were, I figured that he dreamt about his comrades again. His memories of them are the only thing that can cause him to act this way. Perhaps this was the effect of the Illusional Mist we’ve encountered.

_This is bad. Really bad. He might take awhile to recover._

*********

I remained in Kakashi’s arms, waiting for his breathing to go back to normal. It took awhile for him to settle down.

I withdrew to check up on him. Unfortunately, his expression showed that he was still being haunted by these dark and negative thoughts.

 **(Y/N):** Kakashi.. Please try to get some rest. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.

I didn’t think he heard me. He was just staring blankly at the walls. Eyebrows furrowed, fists clenched. He was utterly silent, like even if he was awake, he was still trapped in his nightmare. So I held him close again, hoping it will ease him of his pain.


	7. Revelation

The rain came pouring. I sat by the window pane, allowing my breathing to sync with each sound that the raindrops made. My mind wanted to alleviate itself from the distressing sleepless night we had. Hearing nothing but the sudden downpour brought a moment of peace. The room was finally free from all the gut-wrenching screams and groans that Kakashi has made. It took awhile for him to get that peaceful sleep that seemed like forever to find. It’s been 4 hours since he’s entered into his peaceful state. It’s the longest one he had. The last one only lasted for an hour, before he’d wake up and start screaming again. 

I looked at him, then worryingly smiled at myself, before looking back to the scene outside. The Hidden Stone Village was awfully different from what I expected it to be or how our superiors described it. But I just pushed the thought back in my head, since the rain and darkness made it hard for me to clearly see the outside.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)....

He was desperately trying to reach out for something in front of him. I descended from the window pane and sat by his side. Staring at his Anbu tattoo, I steadily took his arm and held it close to me. The mark on his skin never failed to awaken some painful memories of Kakashi. It reminded me of how much he both suffered and endured in the past. Having him see those traumatic events all over again was something I never expected to happen in this mission.

 **Kakashi:** No… (Y/N)... no… no..

The tranquility on his face started to fade away. An indication that I needed to wake him up again. I held his shoulders and gently shook him. His eyes shot open, to be followed by a laboured breathing. 

**(Y/N):** It’s just a dream..

He dropped his hand on his face, expressing exasperation, and sat up.

 **Kakashi:** Again? I’m sorry..  
**(Y/N):** Don’t be.   
**Kakashi:** How long have I been asleep?  
**(Y/N):** Around 4 hours..  
**Kakashi:** Just 4 hours?  
**(Y/N):** Aito’s genjutsu.. It took quite an effect on you.  
**Kakashi:** Some genjutsu.  
**(Y/N):** How are you feeling? I hope it’s not as bad as what Itachi did to you..  
**Kakashi:** I’d honestly prefer... being in coma... than this.

I unintentionally responded with a painful look which he was quick to notice.

 **Kakashi:** Not to worry. I’m going to be okay.

He tried his best to reassure me with a smile, but I knew him well enough. I could discern the lies behind it.

 **(Y/N):** Liar. I’ve watched you all night. You hardly slept at all. Listen. I know you’re one exceptional Jonin. But you don’t have to pretend that you always got it all together. Sometimes, showing your weakness can help your comrades determine how to help you--

He reached for my shoulder and smoothly caressed me.

 **Kakashi:** Thank you.  
**(Y/N):** Ka… kashi..  
**Kakashi:** It must have been hard for you, knowing this is against how you feel. I know it’s something you didn’t want to do. So I’m sorry for letting my condition force you into this. However, I’m beyond grateful for your help. Thank you for everything, (Y/N).

He slowly let go, giving me another smile, before pulling his mask back up.

 **(Y/N):** Idiot. Don’t let this get to your head. You told me to treat you like an ally, right?

Flushed timidly by his words, I got off the bed and sat by the window pane again, not wanting to look back at him. 

**Kakashi:** Where is Kabuki, by the way?  
**(Y/N):** In his quarters. Resting.  
**Kakashi:** I see. I wanted to discuss some things with him.  
**(Y/N):** Just go back to sleep. You need to rest and heal up.  
**Kakashi:** Now that you’ve mentioned it. I seems that I don’t feel that much pain.  
**(Y/N):** Maybe it’s some special medicine. Your wounds might be healing fast.  
**Kakashi:** Not exactly. My body feels numb.  
**(Y/N):** Perhaps it’s because of the battle you had with Aito?  
**Kakashi:** Maybe. But I just feel.. different.  
**(Y/N):** That Aito.. What was he like?  
**Kakashi:** I never expected him to be that strong. In the end, I had to use my Sharingan to defeat him.  
**(Y/N):** I see. Kabuki’s research is that valuable, huh? Even the powerful shinobi are after it.  
**Kakashi:** The problem is... he wasn’t after Kabuki’s research.  
**(Y/N):** What was he after, then?  
**Kakashi:** He was after….. my Sharingan.

I was startled by what he just said.. 

**(Y/N):** What do you mean?! Didn’t he try to kill Kabuki?  
**Kakashi:** He did. But if he really wanted to, he wouldn’t let you go that easily. Instead, he just allowed you to slip off. This made me realize that Kabuki wasn’t his main target after all.  
**(Y/N):** Did he say that he wanted your eye?  
**Kakashi:** No. But he knew so much about me and my past. During our battle, he always had me trapped in his genjutsu.  
**(Y/N):** That’s how powerful his genjutsu is?  
**Kakashi:** Yes. And when I was weak enough, he’d try to take my eye. My left eye to be specific. That’s when I figured that he wanted my Sharingan. And… it somehow made me wonder if…  
**(Y/N):** What is it, Kakashi?  
**Kakashi:** No.. it’s impossible.  
**(Y/N):** Tell me.  
**Kakashi:** His genjutsu was... a Mangekyo Sharingan.  
**(Y/N):** You mean, Mangekyo Sharingan like Itachi’s? Did he have a Sharingan too?!  
**Kakashi:** No. My Sharingan eye should have easily spotted it. That’s why I need to talk to Kabuki. I need to know who this Aito was. He knows--- Hmmnggg!  
**(Y/N):** Kakashi! What’s wrong!?

Kakashi looked at his arm. His veins appeared to be swelling than the ones of the other arm. 

**Kakashi:** My arm… Aaaaah!

He fell to the floor as he painfully clutched his arm. The skin around the IV needle was smoldering. I pulled it out from him and quickly examined it.

 **(Y/N):** Poison!  
**Kakashi:** Hmmnggg!!  
**(Y/N):** Kakashi.. I’m getting you out of here!  
**Kakashi:** Go get my things-- Hmngaaah! Damn it…. now it feels like it’s burning..

Even in pain, Kakashi managed to put on his uniform and ninja equipment.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N), let’s use our Shadow Clones as cover.   
**(Y/N):** Got it. But don’t put the needle back to your clone.

We jumped off the window and escaped into the village’s barricade.

 **(Y/N):** This place… I don’t even think we’re in the Hidden Stone Village.  
**Kakashi:** What the hell is going on? Summoning Jutsu!  
**Pakkun:** Hey there--- What happened to you, kid?!  
**Kakashi:** Pakkun, help us find a way out of here.   
**(Y/N):** Kakashi, we need to first look for an antidote to the poison inside of you!  
**Kakashi:** I… I can’t feel my arm.. Damn it. The numbness is already spreading. How long did I have that IV on?  
**(Y/N):** The moment we brought you in.. to treat your wounds.  
**Kakashi:** We need to get as far as we can before this drug totally paralyzes me.  
**(Y/N):** Kabuki might know..   
**Kakashi:** But there’s a possibility that he may be the main culprit behind this..  
**Pakkun:** Kakashi, summon Bisuke. He’ll lead you out of hear. I’ll infiltrate the building to look for the antidote.  
**Kakashi:** It’s too risky!  
**Pakkun:** Don’t underestimate me, kid. I’ll catch up to you in no time.  
**Kakashi:** Tch. Alright then. Thank you, Pakkun. Be careful.  
**Pakkun:** (Y/N), take care of Kakashi, will ya? Both of you still have a lot of making up to do.  
**Kakashi/(Y/N):** Pakkun!

Pakkun winked at me before running towards the building. Meanwhile, Kakashi summoned Bisuke who cautiously led us out of the village.

_*****_

We’ve already reached a few kilometers away from the village. However, Kakashi’s speed was declining. We were getting way ahead of him.

 **Bisuke:** This way!  
**(Y/N):** Bisuke, wait!

Kakashi fell on his knees, gasping for air.

 **(Y/N):** Hang in there, Kakashi.   
**Kakashi:** I’m starting to feel.. numb. Every cell in my body.. has weakened. I… I think it’s best if you leave me behind. I can stay.. and wait for Pakkun.  
**(Y/N):** Don’t be stupid, Kakashi! We’re not even sure if there's an antidote. A better option is to take you back to the village and have Lady Tsunade’s Medical Team help you.  
**Bisuke:** She’s right, Kakashi.  
**Kakashi:** Even if we double... our speed, it will take at least.. a day to get there.  
**(Y/N):** “Those who abandon your friends are worse than a scum.” Remember that, Kakashi?  
**Kakashi:** (Y/N)... it.. it might be too late.  
**(Y/N):** I have no choice.   
**Bisuke:** Oh, no, no, no! You’re not going to summon that wolf of yours! You know how he hates the likes of me.  
**(Y/N):** Summoning Jutsu!

A large silver gray wolf came out growling. Bisuke swiftly hid behind Kakashi as the wolf glared at them, like it was more than ready to take them down.

 **(Y/N):** Kai, it’s alright! It’s me, (Y/N)! It’s me!

Kai was a non-talker. I rarely summoned him because of his untamed and dominant behaviour. He tends to go out of control, especially when he’s faced with other animals. But despite his behavior, he’s extremely loyal to me.

 **(Y/N):** Please. I need your help. Kakashi is in danger. We need to bring him back to the village the soonest.

His tail stood tall and high while conveying his deadly and sharp teeth

 **Kakashi:** I.. I don’t think he’s happy to see me..  
**(Y/N):** Please, Kai. Listen to me.   
**Kakashi:** He’s no longer... jealous of me.. isn’t he?  
**(Y/N):** Kai, do this for me, please? Do this for my sake. I.. I don’t.. I don’t want to lose Kakashi.. 

A stunned Kakashi cheerfully grinned upon hearing me. But before he could even thank me, his body fell to the ground.

 **(Y/N)/Bisuke:** Kakashi!  
**Kakashi:** I.. I can’t move..

Kai let out a howl, gestured us to put Kakashi’s body over him.

 **Kakashi:** Thank you, Kai. You’re.. you’re a good boy. Please… don’t drop me.. though.  
**(Y/N):** Alright, let’s go!

_*****_

We were already halfway through when Pakkun caught up with us. He was short of breath but was still able to talk to us..

 **(Y/N):** Pakkun, any news?  
**Pakkun:** I’m sorry, Kakashi.. I couldn’t find an antidote..  
**Kakashi:** Thank you, Pakkun. It’s… going to be alright.  
**Pakkun:** But you better hurry. They found out about your Shadow Clones. They’re tailing you.  
**Kakashi:** Go take a rest.. You too, Bisuke... I’ll summon you.... when we need help.  
**Pakkun:** Are you sure?  
**Kakashi:** Yes.. (Y/N) and I know our way from here.  
**Pakkun:** Alright then, good luck.  
**Bisuke:** Stay safe, all of you.  
**(Y/N)** : Thank you, guys.  
**Pakkun:** Before I go, just wanted to let you know that you were right about that Kabuki. Don’t trust him.

I was engulfed with utmost anger and frustration. First, for having Kabuki to deceive us. But most of all, for allowing ourselves to be deceived.

_How could I have not known?! Damn it! I was even attracted to someone like him? I feel disgusted at myself! He was able to trick everyone, including the Hokage. And now, Kakashi’s life is in danger._

**(Y/N):** Kai! Lets double our speed.

He answered me with a loud howl. Kakashi was now our top priority. With our current speed, it will only take half a day to reach the Hidden Leaf Village. I desperately hoped that we’ll be able to make it in time to save Kakashi.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)... I can’t feel my arms.. I don’t think..  
**(Y/N):** Hold on, Kakashi!  
**Kakashi:** I can no longer…

His grip loosened and his body fell to the ground. Kai ceased and rapidly came to his aid.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)..   
**(Y/N):** Come on, Kakashi! Get up! Please!  
**Kakashi:** I.. I can’t see you..

He stretched out his arm. I held him up and helped him climb back on Kai. His heartbeat was faint.

 **Kakashi:** I’m not sure.. if… if I can make it.  
**(Y/N):** Shut up! You’re going to make it! 

He started to cough out blood. 

**Kakashi:** Don’t.. Just go, (Y/N). Save yourself.  
**(Y/N):** No!!!  
**Kakashi:** Kai.. take (Y/N) and go..  
**(Y/N):** Get up, you jerk! I said get up--  
**Kakashi:** I love you. I’ve.. always.. have.. 

He steadily lost his consciousness.

 **(Y/N):** I’m... I’m... I’m going to save you!

Kai barked at me, indicating that we needed to get going. I wiped my tears and nodded. I carefully tied Kakashi to Kai’s back, making sure it was strong enough to support his body.

 **(Y/N):** Thank you, Kai. You think we can increase our speed a little bit more?

He howled back at me.

 **(Y/N):** Good boy. Let’s go!

_Kakashi, don’t you dare die on me.. We’re still…. We’re still going to fix this.. to fix us… I’m not ready to lose you completely. No.. I don’t think I’ll ever be.._


	8. Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a couple of revisions on the previous chapters. You may want to re-read the whole thing again. :)
> 
> Enjoy!

Kai and I made our way into the dim forest, leaping from one branch to another. I frankly didn’t know if we were going to make it or not. Even if we did, we would still go through the trouble of knowing the what the right antidote is. Not to mention all the preparation that needed to be done. However, as long as Kakashi's heart was still beating, everything was worth the risk. And it was only a matter of time until we reach the Hidden Leaf Village.

 **(Y/N):** What is it, Kai?!

Kai came to a halt, snarling at the darkness before us.

 **(Y/N):** Come out and show yourself! 

Such depraved laughter was lurking in the shadows.

 **(Y/N):** Kabuki! You fucking asshole! Just show your fucking face!  
**Kabuki:** Now, now, (Y/N). Is that how a lady should speak?  
**(Y/N):** Shut up! What do you want with Kakashi’s Sharingan?!  
**Kabuki:** Ah. So, you’ve figured.  
**(Y/N):** You were with Aito all along. No wonder he let us slip through that easily. It was Kakashi that you wanted all this time.  
**Kabuki:** Yes, (Y/N). And you were always such a pain! It was such a nuisance knowing that this Hokage of yours put you in this mission, when I have specifically chosen for Kakashi. You should have died in that fall. But your beloved Copy Ninja had to save you. Tch.  
**(Y/N):** I’m going to kill you!  
**Kabuki:** Well, go ahead and do it. It’s not like it’s going to save Kakashi. **_*evil laughs*_ ** But aren’t you grateful? If I kill you, I’m actually doing you a favor. You and that lover of yours will be together--  
**(Y/N):** Ice Spear Jutsu!

I had to end his blathering. An irksome gabfest is nothing but a waste.

 **(Y/N):** Kai, get Kakashi out of here!  
**Kabuki:** You, bitch! Earth Barrier Jutsu!

They were both enclosed with earth-like prison bars, immobilizing their escape.

 **(Y/N):** Kai! Kakashi!  
**Kabuki:** Like I said, you’re not going to be able to save him. After all, the poison has already strewn all over his body.   
**(Y/N):** Tch! Whirlwind Jutsu!

He let out hefty punches, powerful enough to cut through my water techniques.

 **Kabuki:** Is that all you’ve got? Your beauty is alluring, (Y/N). But your denseness is such a dismay. You should know your water techniques are no match for my earth techniques!

I showed him a grin. 

He was thoroughly soaked by all my water techniques. I took this as the signal to release a startling lighting jutsu. The current coursed through the water, eventually striking Kabuki. He excruciatingly collapsed to the ground, while I went on to afflict him with my lightning technique. It was only one of the many things that Kakashi has trained me to do.

However, this technique requires a large amount of chakra. Considering that I wasn’t as powerful as Kakashi, I knew that I wasn’t capable of prolonging it like he does. I certainly felt the strain in me.

_Just be dead already._

The smoke from his body was starting to clear out. But I jolted into motion when he gradually straightened up. His burnt flesh began to dissolve. Thus, showing his true form.

 **Kabuki** : Well, that was quite astonishing. I should have known that Kakashi would enlighten you with such techniques.  
**(Y/N):** Who the hell are you?  
**Kabuki:** Hahaha! Are you that desperate to know me, (Y/N)?

My eyes widened as soon as I saw a Sharingan eye. No. Sharingan eyes! And they were all implanted into his fingers. I was in absolute shock. I’ve never seen such a thing.

“Since you are one of the few people who’s seen my true form, I’ll let you know who I really am. The name is Shi. I live by the deaths of many. And soon, your death will be mine.”

 **Shi:** Mangekyo Prison Jutsu!  
**(Y/N):** Aaaaah!!!

His arm mutated into an ineffable figure. I moaned in pain as I felt my body was being subdued by it. Kai snarled in anger as he watched me in my agony.

 **Shi** : Can you feel it draining the life out of you? Yes, that’s right. Feel the pain!

My vision was starting to blur. I turned to face Kakashi. He was the last thing I wanted to see before I finally reach my end.

_Is this it? Am I really going to die here?_

**(Y/N):** Kakashi.. I just want to hold you… one last time.

“RASENGAN!!!”

**_*****_ **

I felt my body being carried by a large man. His long silver white hair was lashing back and forth as he sprung from tree to tree.

 **(Y/N):** Hng.. Master Jiraiya?  
**Naruto:** (Y/N)-Sensei!   
**Jiraiya:** Hold tight, (Y/N). We’re on our way back to the village.  
**(Y/N):** Ka..kashi… Po-poison…  
**Jiraiya:** We’ve given him an antidote. It’s enough to stop the poison from spreading.... for now.  
**Naruto:** We’re going to save him! Believe it!

_Thank god…_

My vision went dim again.

**_*****_ **

_Am.. I dead? Where am I?_

_“(Y/N)..”_

_Kakashi? Is that you? Are we both dead?_

_“(Y/N).. Get up.”_

_  
_

_I could feel the grass tapping my skin. Scent of flowers were rushing in. Then, a shadow above me came into view, blocking the sun rays that fell on me. The figure bent over and pulled me up._

_(Y/N): Kakashi…_  
_Kakashi: What are you doing here, (Y/N)?_  
_(Y/N): What do you mean?_  
_Kakashi: I’ve been looking all over for you._  
_(Y/N): Looks like we made it.._  
_Kakashi: Hey. Are you alright? You don’t seem like yourself._  
_(Y/N): You’re alive.._

_He quietly laughed at me._

_Kakashi: Listen. Everything will be alright. Everyone here in the Hidden Leaf Village is going to look after you.._  
_(Y/N): What?_  
_Kakashi: I’ve already made sure that you wouldn’t feel alone. My students will come and visit you from time to time. Everyone will._  
_(Y/N): Kakashi, what are you talking about?_  
_Kakashi: I’m leaving._  
_(Y/N): Hold on. I don’t understand. Where are you going?_  
_Kakashi: To a place where you can’t come along._  
_(Y/N): When are you coming back?_  
_Kakashi: I’m not, (Y/N)._  
_(Y/N): Wait! What is this place you’re going to?! What can’t I--_

__

_He captured my lips._

____

_(Y/N): Kakashi…_  
_Kakashi : I love you, (Y/N).  
_(Y/N): Please hold me..__

____

_He tugged me into comfortable embrace and kissed me again._

_Kakashi: Don’t forget about me, okay? Thank you for everything. I love you._  
_(Y/N): Kakashi… Wait! Don’t go! Kakashi!_

I shot straight up from my bed.

 **Jiraiya:** (Y/N). How are you feeling?  
**Naruto:** (Y/N)-Sensei..  
**(Y/N):** Where am I?  
**Naruto:** You’re in the hospital.  
**(Y/N):** And Kakashi?  
**Jiraiya:** Lay back down. You still need to rest.  
**Naruto:** You’re still recovering.  
**(Y/N):** I’m fine.. Where’s Kakashi?  
**Jiraiya:** He’s.. he’s in the Operating Room.  
**(Y/N):** What? Bring me to him!  
**Jiraiya:** No, you need to rest, (Y/N).  
**Naruto:** Pervy Sage is right, (Y/N)-Sensei.. You’re still weak.  
**(Y/N):** Why is he there? I need to see him!  
**Jiraiya:** It wouldn’t help seeing him in his current state.  
**(Y/N):** What do you mean?!  
**Jiraiya:** Tsunade and her medical team are taking care of him.  
**(Y/N):** Will he be alright?!  
**Jiraiya:** They’re doing their best to save him, (Y/N).  
**(Y/N):** Please, Master Jiraiya! Please! I need to see him.

It was only after a few steps away from the bed when felt the tension in my muscles. I cringed in pain as I did so.

 **Jiraiya:** (Y/N), you’re in no condition to move.  
**(Y/N):** Please take me to him. Please..  
**Jiraiya:** I can’t. I’m sorry.  
**(Y/N):** I’m begging you.

I held onto his shoulders and hopelessly pleaded with him. Naruto unbearably watched my misery as I wept on Master Jiraiya’s arms.

 **Naruto:** Okay, I’ll bring you to him.  
**Jiraiya:** Naruto!  
**Naruto:** (Y/N)-Sensei was with Kakashi-Sensei when this all happened. She might know things that we don’t.  
**Jiraiya:** But you know Tsunade’s orders.  
**Naruto:** Pervy Sage… how would you feel if Grandma Tsunade were in Kakashi-Sensei’s place? Besides, I also want to know how Kakashi-Sensei is doing..   
**Jiraiya:** **_*sigh*_ ** Okay, then. But you do the explaining to Tsunade.  
**(Y/N):** I’ll do it! But I don’t think I need to give her an explanation in the first place.

Master Jiraiya and Naruto assisted me to where Kakashi was, while filling me in with the details on what really happened to our mission.

 **Jiraiya:** The ANBU Black Ops found the real Kabuki this morning.  
**(Y/N):** Where is he now?  
**Jiraiya:** His body was already cold when they found him. He died from being poisoned.  
**(Y/N):** What?!   
**Jiraiya:** Tsunade hastily made a provisional antidote, knowing that the enemy may possibly use it against you or Kakashi. Then, she summoned Naruto and I to come after you. And I’m relieved to know that we made just in time.  
**(Y/N):** Kakashi.. he may not survive!  
**Naruto:** Oi, (Y/N)-Sensei! Don’t give up Kakashi-Sensei! He will survive this! Believe it!  
**Jiraiya:** But there’s no telling if we’ve given him the right antidote.  
**Naruto** : Pervy Sage!  
**Jiraiya:** I’m just being honest. (Y/N) needs to know everything, right?  
**Naruto:** ** _*sigh*_** (Y/N)-Sensei.. If the antidote doesn’t work, I’ll make sure to find the right ingredients for it. Anything for Kakashi-Sensei!

We’ve finally reached the Operating Room. I briskly walked towards the doorway when we were stopped by one of the medical team.

 **Medic:** Hold it right, there! You cannot enter! Only the medical personnel are allowed to go in!  
**(Y/N):** Get out of my way!  
**Jiraiya:** Please calm down, (Y/N)..  
**Lady Tsunade:** What are you doing here?! I told you to stay--  
**(Y/N):** I asked them to bring me here!  
**Lady Tsunade:** Go back to your room, (Y/N)!  
**(Y/N):** No! I deserve to know every detail of Kakashi’s recovery. We’ve risked our lives out there. He’s risked his life for this stupid mission of yours!  
**Naruto:** (Y/N)-Sensei.. Calm down!  
**(Y/N):** You gave us this mission, remember? It was your job to investigate it before summoning us. And look what happened to Kakashi?  
**Jiraiya:** (Y/N)! Stop! You can’t blame everything on her. Don’t forget that you are speaking to the Hokage!  
**Naruto:** (Y/N)-Sensei, please--  
**Lady Tsunade:** That’s enough. Let her be! Stay here as you wish. But do not interfere in any of our work, regardless of what you see! You got that?

She burst into the operating room to where Kakashi helplessly laid. I clenched my fist, mustering up all my resentment towards her. I solely believed that everything was her fault.

Through a glass window, we were able to view the room. Kakashi was already stripped of his clothing when they brought him in. He only had a piece of cloth set on his waist area and a surgical mask covering his mouth. He was no longer unconscious, but his breathing was faint. 

**(Y/N):** How long has he been here?  
**Jiraiya:** For around an hour. They probably just finished developing a new antidote.  
**Naruto:** Kakashi-Sensei, please survive..

A large basin was placed beside Lady Tsunade.

 **Lady Tsunade:** Alright. Hold him down.  
**Medical Team:** Yes, ma’am!

Each of them grabbed on to Kakashi’s shoulders, arms, thighs, and legs. After taking a deep breath, she submerged her hands to whatever was in the basin and lifted it up. A large amount of liquid levitated in the air. She hovered it over Kakashi’s body and it steadily penetrated his skin. After being able to diagnose where the poison was, she hoisted her arms. Soon the liquid slowly emerged from him. Its color had drastically changed.

 **Kakashi:** Hmngaaaaaah!  
**Lady Tsunade:** Hold him down!  
**Medic:** He’s… he’s too strong!  
**Lady Tsunade:** I need more men to hold him down!

Kakashi throbbingly cried out as the poison was being removed from his body.

 **(Y/N):** Kakashi!

I raced to the room but was quickly stopped by Master Jiraiya and Naruto.

 **Kakashi:** Graaah!! Hmmmaah!!  
**Lady Tsunade:** Hold on, Kakashi! 

Kakashi’s screams grew louder as it echoed through the hallway.

 **(Y/N):** Please.. Master Jiraiya. Is there any other way?  
**Jiraiya:** Kakashi is strong! He can survive this! You must also stay strong for him too!  
**Naruto:** Damn it. Kakashi-Sensei, hang in there.  
**Kakashi:** Hmmaah!! E-enough!!! S-stop!!! Hmmngg!!!

_Somebody.. Please.. Make this stop.. There must be another way.. Enough.. Please!_

****_*****_

  
The gut-wrenching operation was finally over. Kakashi was transported into a more comfortable room where he can rest and fully recover. However, there’s no telling when he’ll wake up or if he will ever wake up. I was told that he had entered into a coma. I woefully rejected it.

My body was still undergoing treatment, but I refused to stay in my own room. Given that I was still indignant about everything, Lady Tsunade didn’t argue with me any longer. In fact, she instructed the doctors to transfer me into the same room as Kakashi.

 **Nurse:** Ms. (Y/N)?  
**(Y/N):** Yes?  
**Nurse:** I brought Mr. Kakashi’s belongings. The ICU personnel asked me to deliver them here.  
**(Y/N):** Just leave it on the table.  
**Nurse:** Okay. I separated the valuable items in a small container.  
**(Y/N):** Thank you.. Also.. Is there anything he can wear? He might be cold.  
**Nurse:** Oh, yes. I was just about to bring in some hospital clothes for him.  
**(Y/N):** Maybe an extra blanket will do as well?  
**Nurse:** Okay. Sure.  
**(Y/N):** Thank you..

As soon as she stepped out of the room, I took the items out of the basket and sorted sort them.

Tarnished uniform.  
Bandages…  
Kunai Bag…  
Mask…  
Headband…

“I separated his valuable items in a small container.”

_Right.._

I took out the small container and slowly opened it..

Wallet..  
Money..  
_And… hmm.. wait.. what is this?_

There was a silver necklace inside. I raised it up and found two rings dangling on it. I gave it a closer look, examining it, only to see our names engraved on each ring. 

**Nurse:** Ms. (Y/N), here are Mr. Kakashi’s clothes and an extra comforter.  
**(Y/N):** Where did you get this?  
**Nurse:** What do you mean?  
**(Y/N):** This necklace?  
**Nurse:** Oh. Mr. Kakashi was wearing it when he was brought into the Operating Room. It had your names on it. So I figured it was something very valuable to him. **_*smiles*_ ** I never thought Mr. Kakashi would be such a sentimental person. You make such a cute couple, you know?  
**(Y/N):** No.. we’re not.. I.. I mean.. Thank you. I appreciate everything that you’re doing.  
**Nurse:** Sure. I’ll be at the Nurse’s station in case you need anything.

I perched by Kakashi side, small tears forming in my eyes. After moments of just peering at him and the necklace, my emotions finally burst out. I bent over and pulled him into a tight embrace. 

**(Y/N):** Kakashi, if you can hear me, I want you to know that I’m not going anywhere. Okay? All this comatose they’re talking about? I say it’s bullshit. Will you expect me to believe in that kind of crap?

I was now weeping over his shoulders.

 **(Y/N):** Please be okay. Please, Kakashi. If you can hear me.. I need you to fight with me. Don't stay there for too long. Okay? I need you to get out of there. Come back to me. Please. Just come back. You and I have a lot to talk about. You have a lot of explaining to do. This break up we had… I know your reasons are nothing but lies. There are things you’re not telling me. I know. I just know it.. So you need to wake up soon. Okay?! I.. I promise I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. I promise I won’t push you away. Just… just wake up and come back to me.. I’m not going anywhere. 

I pulled away and left a long kiss on his forehead.

 **(Y/N):** I‘m sorry for not being strong enough to protect you.. I’ll do better next time.. I... I love you, Kakashi..


	9. Truth

The medical team set foot into the room, bringing another set of IV with them. It’s been nearly a month and Kakashi hasn’t come around yet. He has drastically lost weight because of his body’s insufficient intake of nutrients. With that, the new IV they brought it contained fluids that had a considerable amount of supplements to help his system.

 **Doctor:** He’ll be alright, (Y/N). He’ll soon get back into shape.  
**(Y/N):** Doctor? Is there anything I can do? I mean.. there must be other ways right? Even just the slightest chance of waking him up? I’d rather be out there looking for a cure.  
**Doctor:** The poison has reached a part of Kakashi’s central nervous system. Our Hokage has been in and out of our library doing research on it. She's really determined to find a cure. Just be patient, (Y/N).   
**(Y/N):** I just hate the fact that I’m not doing anything.  
**Doctor:** You’ve been taking good care of Kakashi. That already is enough.

I looked at Kakashi. I sighed upon gazing at his state. And there was I, getting so tired of feeling impotent and futile. 

**(Y/N):** Kakashi.. I just need to step out for awhile. There something I must do. I’ll leave one of my clones to look after you, okay? 

I stood up and left a kiss on his forehead.

 **(Y/N):** Shadow Clone Jutsu!

I went straight to the Hokage’s office and met Shizune along the way. She asked me to go straight to the library for Lady Tsunade had gone off to her research as early as dawn.

I walked into the library, passing through the long hall of bookshelves. I eventually found the Hokage reading in an isolated area. Her table had pile of books resting on it. They were about medicinal herbs, medical jutsu, neurology, treatments for comatose, and many more. 

**Lady Tsunade:** (Y/N), what are you doing here? Who’s with Kakashi?  
**(Y/N):** I left one of my clones with him. Mind if I sit?

She gestured me towards a chair in front of her. And I sat down.

 **(Y/N):** Lady Tsunade, I know we haven’t had a real conversation since that night. I appreciate you not giving me any missions so I can look after Kakashi. But more than that, I really wanted to apologize—

She raised a hand to my face.

 **Lady Tsunade:** Don’t. I understand that you were just upset and scared.  
**(Y/N):** But what I said was too much. My emotions never ought to be reason to disrespect you, my Lady. I’m really sorry.  
**Lady Tsunade:** It’s all in the past. Just go back to Kakashi while I continue on my research.  
**(Y/N):** You don’t have to do this alone.  
**Lady Tsunade:** It’s the least I can do… not after everything I did to you and Kakashi.

She pressed her palms together and closed her eyes. A deep thought got into her mind. She exhaled before facing me again.

 **Lady Tsunade:** Just let me make up for my mistake.  
**(Y/N):** Everyone made a mistake about the mission.  
**Lady Tsunade:** I’m not talking about the mission. I’m talking about you and Kakashi.   
**(Y/N):** What do you mean?  
  
After a long silence, I somehow figured what she meant.

  
**(Y/N):** Is this about the secret mission you gave him?  
**Lady Tsunade:** How did you—  
**(Y/N)** : I honestly don’t know anything about it. I accidentally overheard your conversation before you sent us to the Hidden Stone Village. I’m sorry. But I know nothing about the details.  
**Lady Tsunade:** I thought I was trying to help you and Kakashi. But I should have first thought about it carefully.  
**(Y/N):** Please tell me what this is about.  
**Lady Tsunade** : Tch. I have no choice but to tell you now. But before I do, I want you to know why it needed to be done.

**_*****Start of flashback*****_ **

**Kakashi’s POV**

  
“But… I’m starting to think that this is all a mistake.”

I felt remorse over the words that left my mouth. Somehow, I wished I never said them. But it was all too late. I didn’t have the courage to go back to the room. Instead, I stepped out of our home and gave myself some time to process everything.

The moonlit hovered over me as I walked past the cemetery gates and walked towards a familiar gravestone.

“Sakumo Hatake”

 **Kakashi:** Father, it’s me, Kakashi.

I rested myself on the ground.

 **Kakashi:** I feel lost.. I really feel lost.

Things are bad now. (Y/N) and I came home from a failed mission. It didn’t quite go well. I almost got a comrade killed. I was too focused on protecting (Y/N), and I wasn’t able to help the others. I’m so disappointed at myself. I shouldn’t have been the captain. **_*sighs*_ **Our Hokage was furious at me.

(Y/N) and I have also been having a hard time. Our fights just keep getting worse. Mainly because I’ve been losing my focus. There’s nothing I can’t think about but (Y/N) and her safety. It’s affecting my decisions and the way I treat her. 

I always knew what to do. I always had a solution to every problem. But this time, I’m really having difficulty. When I think about (Y/N) and what’s been happening to the village, I start to feel terrified about our future. I couldn’t control these emotions. Knowing that there will soon come a time, when I can’t be there to protect her, is really killing me.

I love her so much, Father. She’s the most important person to me, and I’m so afraid to lose her. She’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want her to be the mother of my children. But... am I loving her too much? Too much that I’m willing to sacrifice my comrades and even the village just for her safety. I am a shinobi. It is my duty as a shinobi to protect the village and my comrades. I feel like my heart is being ripped apart. I don’t know what to do, Father.

I’ve been told that you sacrificed a mission to protect your comrades. Those who don’t follow the rules are scum. But those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum. But what if I have to choose between the person I love the most and the people I ought to protect? Obito, Rin, Minato-Sensei, and... you. You’re all gone now. I don’t want to lose (Y/N) too. 

Father, these are the times when I wish you were here. I need you now to guide me. What will you do if you were in my position?

**_*****  
_ **

I slowly opened my eyes. The sun was already up. I found myself situated on the ground, right next to my father’s grave. I must have accidentally dozed off.

_Oh, no. (Y/N) must be worried sick about me. I need to get home._

I arose and immediately head back home, racing from one roof to another. I contemplated on what to tell (Y/N) after last night’s events. I didn’t want her to feel that I was on the verge of giving up on her. The pulse in my veins heightened the closer I got to our home.  
  
I held the doorknob and nervously entered.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N), I’m sorry-- Shizune?  
**(Y/N):** Where have you been? Shizune has been waiting for you.  
**Kakashi:** What’s the matter?  
**Shizune:** Get dressed, Kakashi. The Hokage wants you in her office.  
**Kakashi:** Can it wait? There’s an important matter I need to attend to.  
**Shizune:** Sorry, but this is urgent.

I approached (Y/N) and she sadly looked at me. 

**(Y/N):** Go, Kakashi. The Hokage needs you.  
  
The pain in her eyes was evidently showing. I wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her. I was planning on spending my day with her, to settle unresolved issues in our relationship, and to rekindle our losing flame. However, my duties as a shinobi were right before me. All the more, I felt torn.  
  
**Kakashi:** (Y/N)... I--  
**Shizune:** Kakashi, we need to hurry.  
**(Y/N):** It’s okay. Just go.

_Damn it._

**Kakashi:** I’ll be back as soon as possible.  
**(Y/N):** Yeah. I’ll see you..

The moment I exited the door, I felt nothing but deep regret. I should have at least apologized to her for not coming home. Worse, I wasn’t even able to give a proper goodbye.

**_*****_ **

The ANBU Black Ops were able to gather Intel on several of the Akatsuki’s hideouts. A number of jonins and Master Jiraiya were mandated by Lady Tsunade to investigate and do a survey on each suspected hideout. Given the hazards and uncertainties of the area, we were to do our missions alone. 

My mission only lasted for 2 days. But 2 days of isolation were enough to incapacitate me with more of the dismissive thoughts in my head. Though I was able to smoothly perform my work, I still couldn’t manage to break my surge of anxieties. In my head, my love for you (Y/N) and my future as a shinobi were still waging war against each other. What I ought to do was becoming very unclear to me. To make things worse, the mission itself constantly reminded me of all the people I’ve lost. With the Akatsuki, death was inevitable. The fear of losing (Y/N) and the guilt of forsaking the village for her safety grew stronger, that it was becoming too difficult for me to suppress. In my heart, I wanted to protect (Y/N) with everything I can because she meant everything to me. But my head kept nudging me about my purpose as a shinobi.

I knew I had to make a decision before it was all too late. And as soon as I decided on one, I gathered all my strength and courage, for I knew it was something I needed to disclose to our Hokage.

**_*****_ **

**  
Lady Tsunade:** You did great in this mission.  
**Kakashi:** Thank you.  
**Lady Tsunade:** I’ll send all your reports to the council.  
**Kakashi:** Okay.  
**Lady Tsunade:** I know you just got back from a mission. But I received a new intel and I’d like to--  
**Kakashi** : Before that, there’s something that I wish to say. If I may..  
**Lady Tsunade:** Okay then.

I silently stood there for awhile, mulling on the right words to say. _Here I go. I hope this will turn out well._  
  
**Lady Tsunade:** Kakashi? Is everything alright?

I took a deep breath, walked towards her, and gently set my shinobi headband on her desk. 

**Lady Tsunade:** What’s the meaning of this?!  
**Shizune:** What are you doing, Kakashi?!  
**Kakashi:** I.. I’m.. Forgive me, my lady.  
**Lady Tsunade:** Oi, Kakashi! Look at me!

I gasped in deep pain and regret as I revealed my innermost feelings to the Hokage. I expressed, in all honesty, all the heartaches, confusion, and tension that was overwhelming me. I was completely aware of how enraged she may be at my conclusion to this matter. But if it meant the safety and protection of (Y/N), I was willing to bear it all. Both Kizune and Lady Tsunade intently listened to me until I was finished.

 **Kakashi:** Forgive me, my Lady.

I knelt on the floor and bowed my head before her.

 **Kakashi:** Please forgive me.

She got off her chair and approached me while I still kept my head down. I could already imagine the scene that was about to happen. But I was willing to go through it for (Y/N)’s sake. I was willing to suffer the consequences of my decision.

She knelt in front of me..

 **Lady Tsunade:** Kakashi. Look at me.

I sat up and looked at her. Then she set a hand on my shoulder. Her lips curled into a lenient smile.

 **Lady Tsunade:** It is my duty as Hokage to look after the village, to ensure it’s safety, and to take care of it’s well-being. You, Kakashi, are part of this village. Therefore, it is also my duty to look after you.

I was dazed by her soft words.

 **Lady Tsunade:** We cannot control what we feel. No matter how strong we are, there will be times when we cannot do something about our feelings towards others. I understand what you feel towards (Y/N). Trust me. I’ve been there. Do you know that I almost gave up on the welfare of the village just to be with the one I love? But I’m grateful to have had people, like Shizune, to get me right back on track. And you Kakashi? You have us too. Don’t carry this burden all alone. You’re my most exceptional Jonin. I wouldn’t be surprised if you happened to be the next Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village.  
**Kakashi:** Lady Tsunade. I… I don’t think I deserve this.  
**Lady Tsunade:** Don’t doubt yourself. Don’t doubt your devotion for this village just because you found something or someone more important than it. You deeply care for our people. That is why you are hurting. Everyone knows you are an extraordinary shinobi. But remember that you are still human. Being an outstanding shinobi doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel lost. You’re young and still have a lot to learn. You are yet to face tough decisions. But know that you don’t have to do this all alone.

I shut my eyes and clenched my fists as this heavy burden in my heart was gradually fading.

 **Lady Tsunade:** And this is one of those things you need to face, Kakashi. Now tell me, if (Y/N) were to do the same thing, how will you respond?  
**Kakashi:** What? No! I won’t allow her to! She’s a great shinobi and has great potential. I won’t allow her to give up her hard work just for me!  
**Lady Tsunade:** And you’re a much greater shinobi, Kakashi. It has always been your purpose to become one, even before (Y/N).  
**Kakashi:** But, I just don’t want it to reach to a point where I have to choose between my comrades and her. I know that I’ll always choose (Y/N) no matter what.  
**Lady Tsunade:** Kakashi, listen to me. Clearly, you are not at your best. This isn’t who you really are. I understand that you are struggling. Therefore, as a friend, I suggest you give yourself some time alone to think this through. Your emotions have left you unstable, making it hard for you to think straight. And the last thing that (Y/N) wants, is for her to be the reason for your defeat. Am I right?  
**Kakashi:** Yes. You’re right.  
**Lady Tsunade:** Now, as your Hokage, I must also do something about my shinobi. I’ll be requiring you to do something. I will consider this as a new mission for you.   
**Kakashi** : A mission?  
**Lady Tsunade:** Don’t go home yet. I want you to spend a few more days outside the village.  
**Kakashi:** But what about (Y/N)? She’s waiting for me.  
**Lady Tsunade:** Shizune will take care of it. Right, Shizune?  
**Shizune:** Y-yes, ma’am!  
**Lady Tsunade:** I want you to process everything. Empty your mind and heart. This will help you manage all the heavy emotions. Hopefully, it will redirect you to the right path.  
**Kakashi:** And after that?  
**Lady Tsunade:** I need you to end your relationship with (Y/N).   
**Kakashi:** What?! I.. I can’t do that! It will break her heart.  
**Lady Tsunade:** I can clearly see that your relationship’s current state has put a negative effect on you. And as both your friend and Hokage, I will not allow you to go through this. You need to do something about it. I trust that you will tell her the truth?  
**Kakashi:** I can’t…  
**Lady Tsunade:** Then that’s something you need to prepare for. Kakashi, you’re doing this for (Y/N) as well. Now is not the best time for you to be in this relationship. You first need to do some soul searching. Accept this mission. Or do you need me to talk to (Y/N) about it?  
**Kakashi:** No! I’ll do it. I’ll handle this.

She took my hand and placed my headband on it.

 **Lady Tsunade:** Keep this. This is what brought you and (Y/N) together. Whether or not your relationship works out in the end, this will still keep you both going. This will give you purpose and meaning. Serve the village will all your heart, and I promise to protect (Y/N). I can even assign some of my ANBU men to watch over her during her missions. You have my word. I promise to protect (Y/N).

**_*****End of flashback******_ **

  
I was completely stunned upon hearing the truth. Somehow, I felt in my heart that Kakashi wasn’t being completely honest with me. It was as if he was hiding something. Perhaps he didn’t want me to blame myself for the way things were going on with him. So instead, he chose my resentment towards him rather than putting this heavy load on my shoulders.

The truth reassured me again, that Kakashi truly loves me. And I felt glad. But at the same time, I had other heavy sentiments building up inside of me. I felt hurt because I allowed Kakashi to go through all this alone. I felt disheartened because he didn’t trust me enough with the truth. I felt remorse because I mistreated him for so long. I felt agitated because there might be no other chance to fix things between him and I. And if he were to wake up, I honestly didn’t know how I would go about everything. I love him and I badly want him back. But I don’t want him to lose himself again because of me. Lady Tsunade was right. He’s a great Jonin and I don’t want to hinder him from becoming his best. I also don’t want to be the reason for him to set aside all his obligations.

 **Lady Tsunade** : I know this is all too much. Kakashi never wanted me to tell you the truth. But I just had to.  
**(Y/N):** Thank you, Lady Tsunade. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, especially for Kakashi. I… I just hope… I..

I held my face as I broke down in tears.

 **(Y/N):** I just hope that he’ll be okay. He has to! If the gods are listening, I don’t care if Kakashi and I don’t end up together. I just need him to wake up and be okay again. I hope they would just give Kakashi back to us. I can’t… I can’t lose him. Not this way.  
**Lady Tsunade:** (Y/N), we will do our best to find the right medicine. Kakashi has the whole village to help him. Have faith in. He will be okay.  
**(Y/N):** I’m sorry.. **_*wipes her tears*_ ** I’m a shinobi. I’m better than this. I can do this. No. We can do this.  
**Lady Tsunade:** Good. Now help me with these.

She slid a stack of books in front of me and instructed me to look for specific techniques that are needed for a new medicinal jutsu she was about to do.

I decided to take all the books with me so I can both do my research while observing Kakashi’s progress. I even asked Lady Tsunade if his students can help me on my research. She gladly complied. Naruto and the others were as restless and anxious as I was. They were determined to get their sensei back. She summoned the three and considered this a mission that we were all to accomplish.

The 4 of us took time to pass by the Yamanaka Flower Shop before heading to the hospital. I made it a habit to weekly bring Kakashi some flowers, hoping that he will wake up soon.

 **Ino:** Sasuke!! It’s so good to see you!  
**Sakura:** Hmpft!  
**Ino:** Oh, (Y/N)-Sensei! It’s you! Are you here to get flowers for Kakashi-Sensei again?  
**(Y/N):** Yup. I’ll order the usual.  
**Ino:** Wait, I think we have something better.  
**(Y/N):** Oh, that would be great!

She exited the counter and ran over to the side of the store. Seconds later, she came to me holding stems of yellow flowers.

 **(Y/N):** They look really nice, Ino!  
**Ino:** They’re called, Daffodils. It symbolizes new beginnings. I wish new beginnings for you and Kakashi-Sensei. I look forward to his full recovery!  
**(Y/N):** You’re too kind. Thank you so much, Ino.

We left the flower shop, having this possible feeling inside. There was also this sense of hope knowing that I had the Hokage and Kakashi’s students to help me. We were all determined to get him back.

As soon as we stepped into his room, my shadow clone happily released its jutsu. 

**Naruto:** Yo, Kakashi-Sensei!  
**Sasuke:** I’ll put the books over here, (Y/N)-Sensei.  
**(Y/N):** Okay. Thank you. Sakura? Do you mind putting these flowers in the vase.  
**Sakura:** Sure!

I sat by Kakashi, took his hand, and gave his forehead a long kiss.

 **(Y/N:** Hey, I’m back..

I gave him another kiss on his cheek. Then I noticed his students peering over the two of us.

 **(Y/N):** Hey! What do you think you’re doing?  
**Naruto/Sakura/Sasuke:** Waaah! No-nothing!  
**Naruto:** Do-don’t mind us.. We-re just.. Uhm.. checking if Kakashi-Sensei’s doing okay. Right, guys?  
**Sasuke:** Y-yeah..  
**Sukara:** That’s right!

I raised an eyebrow at them.

 **(Y/N):** If you think I’m going to remove that surgical mask and kiss him, I’ll make sure not to do it in front of you.   
**Naruto/Sakura/Sasuke:** Awww!  
**(Y/N):** It’s your mission to find out what he looks like. Do it on your own. And no! You’re not allowed to do it while he’s in a coma. Have some respect.  
**Naruto:** Come on, (Y/N)-Sensei! Just a small peak!  
**(Y/N):** No! If you’re gonna go on with this the whole day, might as well leave.  
**Naruto:** Hmpft. Fine. We’ll have to wait until he’s awake. 

The three of them grumbled as they went over the books. I just chuckled back at them.

 **(Y/N):** Sorry. It will be a little noisy today. So you better wake up soon.


	10. Wake

“(Y/N)-Sensei! (Y/N)-Sensei!”

I could hear Naruto crying out to me from the hallway. After hearing trembling footsteps, the door began to shake. 

**Naruto:** (Y/N)-Sensei!

The door was locked because I was in the middle of cleansing Kakashi’s body. I dropped the cloth in the water basin and pulled the sheets over him, before unlocking the door.

 **Naruto:** (Y/N)-Sensei!  
 **(Y/N):** What’s wrong, Naruto? 

Panting hard, he looked into my eyes, but couldn’t utter a single word. Instead, he gave me a look that had a mixture of desperation, hope, and excitement on it, with little teardrops forming in his eyes. I instantly knew what he meant.

_Lady Tsunade’s new medical jutsu._

I immediately released a shadow clone and summoned it to tend to Kakashi. Naurto and I hurried out from the hospital to the Hokage’s office. I couldn’t count the heartbeats I felt on my chest. I, too, sensed the anticipation in Naruto. While running towards our destination, I looked at him, and he gleefully gave me a wide grin and a thumbs up.

 **Naruto:** We’re going to get him back. Believe it!

I inclined in returned, together with a smile on my face.

We soon arrived at Hokage’s office. I was close to knocking on the door when Lady Tsunade called out my name and asked us to enter. Naruto and I couldn’t suppress our anticipation. However, as we were set to get updates from her, our hearts fell into our feet the moment we saw the look on her face. Her palms were clenched together as her temple rested on it. Clearly, she was a little troubled. Naruto asked what was happening, and she soon opened her eyes to signal us to come closer. 

**Lady Tsunade:** I know you came here to ask on the new medical jutsu. But before I get your hopes up, I’d like to tell you as early as now that I may not use this on Kakashi.

 **Naruto:** What do you mean you can’t?  
 **(Y/N):** What’s wrong? You’ve worked so hard for this.  
 **Lady Tsunade:** There are risks involved if I use it on him.

I swallowed hard as Naruto and I looked at each other.

 **Lady Tsunade:** I did tests on a few animals. These animals were also affected by the same poison bomb that killed Kabuki. All tests were successful. I was able to revive them. However, all of them acted strangely when they were brought back to their own group of species. It could have been the poison’s side effects or it may have also been caused by my jutsu.  
 **(Y/N):** If I may ask, what side effects are you referring to?  
 **Lady Tsunade:** Memory loss. Each of these animals weren’t able to recognize the groups they were part of.   
**(Y/N):** Memory loss? Are you saying Kakashi may not remember who he is or who we are?  
 **Lady Tsunade:** I… I’m not sure. These are animals, (Y/N). I’ve never tried the jutsu on humans. Kakashi will be the first. But there’s a possibility that the side effects may be worse for humans.  
 **Naruto:** Grandma Tsuande. This memory loss. Is it permanent or temporary?  
 **Lady Tsunade:** I don’t have the right answer for that. I’m sorry. But I hope you understand why it’s too risky to try it on Kakashi. Even if he recovers--  
 **(Y/N):** Understood.  
 **Lady Tsunade:** Wh-what?  
 **(Y/N):** I understand everything what you’re saying.  
 **Lady Tsunade:** So you agree with me on not proceeding?  
 **Naruto:** Oi, (Y/N)-Sensei. You’re not giving up on Kakashi-Sensei, are you?  
 **(Y/N):** I understand the complications we may face. But now that we’ve found a jutsu that can wake him from his coma, we should then use it.  
 **Lady Tsunade:** You do know that if we push through with this, he may not remember you at all. Or even you, Naruto. Everything. His life as a shinobi may be gone.

Naruto’s knuckles turned white as he clutched his fingers together. The truth was starting to sink in him too. 

**(Y/N):** Then that’s something we should help him go through as well..

Trying my best to take in all the pain, a small teardrop ran down my cheek. But I briskly wiped it off and gave Naruto and Lady Tsunade a reassuring smile. 

**(Y/N):** I’d rather see him live a new life than have him not experience anything at all.  
 **Naruto:** (Y/N)-Sensei...  
 **(Y/N):** Listen, Naruto and Lady Tsuande. The person I love is trapped inside this oblivion. That’s not the life I want for him. If having him live a normal life again means forgetting who I am to him, then I’m fine with that! As long as I get to see him alive and well. So what if he forgets about all the memories we’ve shared? That only means I can make new memories with him and replace the painful ones we had, right? It’s not too hard to build this bond with Kakashi again. He’s a compassionate and kind hearted man. Lets not forget that he is an excellent shinobi too. He was born with this gift. It won’t be hard for him to relearn all these things, especially with his Sharingan. Nothing will be able to stop him from being the great shinobi that he is now. I want him to live normally again! And I will do whatever it takes to help him! So please, Lady Tsunade, help him! Please! You must do this for him!

I turned and bowed to her. But in the middle of petition, Naruto stopped me and grabbed my shoulders.

 **Naruto:** (Y/N)-Sensei! What the hell are you talking about?! Tch. Kakashi-Sensei won’t easily forget about you! Fine, he may not be able to remember any of us, but not you! You mean everything to him!   
**(Y/N):** Naruto..  
 **Naruto:** Don’t you know that there’s not a single second when he doesn’t think about you?! People say that he’s just wasting his time on his smut books. But what they don’t know is that he’s just looking at your picture, which he placed inside his book! Believe it, (Y/N)-Sensei! You’re always on his mind! 

He then faced the Hokage.

 **Naruto:** Grandma Tsunade, you’re an awesome Medical-Nin! You once cured Kakashi-Sensei and Sasuke from their coma. You can do it again! Focus on getting Kakashi-Sensei back before thinking of these side effects! Believe in yourself, because we believe in you! Stop claiming something that hasn’t happened yet! Come on! Kakashi-Sensei has gone through so many awful things. But I don’t believe that this stupid poison would suddenly destroy him! He’s strong! He’s my Sesei, so believe in him too!

He still held onto my shoulders and continued to motivate me with his positive words. He didn’t stop until my tears have finally stopped running down.

 **(Y/N):** Okay, Naruto. Okay.. 

I gently took the boy in my arms.

 **(Y/N):** Thank you…

  


**_*****_ **

Lady Tsunade, Shizune, Naruto, Master Jiraiya, and even Guy were all in Kakashi’s room. They anxiously gathered around him. A few moments later, Lady Tsunade placed her palms at the each side of his head and started the jutsu. Her forehead was abruptly being drenched in sweat as she released her chakra. Guy placed his arm around me, hoping to calm me down. We could feel the tensity within the walls. Even someone like Naruto was utterly silent.

I’ve prepared myself for the risk we were about to face. But reality was starting to kick in. Being in the room made it all so real to me, that I began to feel this terrible fear. The fear of an unsuccessful jutsu and the fear of losing Kakashi again to his possible memory loss were starting to take over me. My body began to tremble. I couldn’t stop myself from shivering. Guy only tightened his grip on me when he noticed what was happening to me.

We could all feel Lady Tsunade’s chakra infiltrating into Kakashi’s.

 **Lady Tsunade:** This is taking longer than expected.  
 **Shizune:** We’re just here, Lady Tsunade.  
 **Jiraiya:** Don’t rush it. Take your time.

Master Jiraiya laid his hand on her shoulder to give her all the strength and encouragement she needed. The rest of them, including Guy, got closer to see if there were any results. While I, on the other hand, walked further and further away. I stepped out of the door and rested my back on the wall, feeling very anxious and terrified. My heartbeat grew louder. It was becoming difficult for me to breathe.

_I’m so scared. I don’t know what to do. What if it doesn’t work? What if it works, but he doesn’t remember who I am? What if something worse happens? Someone, help me.. I’m so scared.. Kakashi, please be okay. Please!_

**Kakashi:** Hmng..

My heart stopped the moment I heard his soft voice. My skin turned white. It’s like the whole world just stopped spinning. I heard him let out a few more moans. Then everyone started to call out his name.

 **Naruto:** Kakashi-Sensei, can you hear us?

  
  


**Kakashi’s POV**

I’ve been idly lying in this pitch black and gloomy place as long as I could remember. It’s as if I was stuck inside an endless nightmare. Whenever I try to move, the darkness will just pull me back to where I was. It gave me such an awful and exhausting feeling.

But from time to time, a dim image of a woman would come and rest beside me. She called me, Kakashi. I loved hearing her voice. It calmed me down whenever frightening shadows would surround me. It’s also what I always thought of whenever I felt scared or lonely 

I was waiting for her to appear again when I suddenly heard random voices. A small opening appeared above me and rays of light fell on my face. The light grew stronger, and so did the voices. They sounded so familiar.

“Kakashi-Sensei!!”

I could hear a small boy. He eemed to be louder than the others. It had more energy in it as well.

“....Sensei! Wake up!”

_Sensei? Who is he calling sensei?_

“Kakashi-Sensei!”

_Kakashi? Wait. I know that voice._

“Kakashi-Sensei!”

_I swear I know it._

“OI! KAKASHI-SENSEI!!!”

_That voice…._

My eyes slowly opened to blurry silhouettes around me. I was still a little nauseous. I dazely looked form left to right, trying to figure out what was happening. I could hardly move my body. However, I felt strong arms gently lifting me up. My eyesight was still quite a blur. 

Soon, I felt those arms around my neck. Someone was sobbing over my shoulders. 

_What’s going on?_

I looked over to the person crying, with my vision getting a little clearer.

 **Kakashi:** G-guy? Is that you?

He withdrew himself, but began crying on my shoulders again. This time, it was louder than earlier 

**Guy:** Kakashi! You remember me!!! I’m so happy!!!  
 **Kakashi** : W-what’s happening? What’s.. going on?  
 **Lady Tsunade:** Guy, give him a moment.  
 **Naruto:** Let go of him or you might put him into another coma. 

He quickly let go and wiped his wet eyes with his arm.

 **Kakashi:** Co-coma? Naruto? Are y-you there?

I lifted my hand and tried to reach out for a shadow in front of me. He quickly took it.

 **Naruto:** It’s me, Kakashi-Sensei.  
 **Lady Tsunade:** Here, drink this.   
**Kakashi:** What’s that?  
 **Lady Tsunade:** It’s going to help you calm your mind. Do you know who I am?  
 **Kakashi:** Huh? Of.. Of course, Lady Tsunade.  
 **Lady Tsunade:** Thank goodness. How about this big guy right here?  
 **Jiraiya:** Kakashi.. it’s me.  
 **Kakashi:** Master Jiraiya?  
 **Naruto:** Wait!  
 **Lady Tsunade:** What the matter?  
 **Naruto:** (Y/N)-Sensei! Where is she?! Where did she go?!  
 **Kakashi:** What? (Y/N)’s here? 

I heard Naruto ran out of the room.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)?! A-are you t-there?  
 **Naruto:** She’s… she’s gone.  
 **Shizune** : She was just right behind us.  
 **Guy:** I was just holding her!   
**Kakashi:** Was she here this whole time?  
 **Naruto:** Of course, she was!  
 **Shizune:** She never left your side.  
 **Kakashi:** I… I thought she hated me.. 

The room became silent.

 **Lady Tsunade:** What is the last thing you remember?  
 **Kakashi:** I… I don’t know.. wait. I think.. you were suppose to give us.. an escort mission. For.. for.. someone from the Hidden Stone Village?  
 **Lady Tsunade:** Yes. And what do you remember after that?  
 **Kakashi:** I… I don’t know. I’m sorry.. I can’t remember anything.. 

They slowly started to fill me with the little details. My vision got clearer and clearer as well.

 **Kakashi:** So.. it did push through.  
 **Naruto:** That’s the reason why you went into another comatose.  
 **Lady Tsunade:** Kakashi, this might all be a little too much for you now. Everyone, please give Kakashi some time to rest his mind. In the meantime, lets take care of those. 

She pointed to the little tubes and IV punctured to my skin.

I was pretty lost about everything, but everyone expressed how happy they were, now that I was conscious. With the looks of it, something really terrible has happened to me, since Guy was still badly weeping.

 **Kakashi:** By the way. About (Y/N)...  
 **Lady Tsunade:** Don’t worry about it. Just stay here and recover.  
 **Kakashi:** I… okay.  
 **Lady Tsunade:** (Y/N) will come around. I can assure you of that.

Naruto’s face suddenly appeared in my view, and he gave his most intriguing look ever. 

**Kakashi:** Wh-what are you’re doing?  
 **Naruto:** Hehehe..  
 **Kakashi:** What is it?  
 **Naruto:** I never thought you and (Y/N)-Sensei can be so romantic.   
**Lady Tsunade:** Naruto!  
 **Naruto:** Ahihihi!  
 **Jiraiya:** Let him be. You’re pre-empting him. But you know? I can actually write a story from this one.  
 **Naruto:** Make Out Tactics Kakashi Edition? That doesn’t look good to me.  
 **Kakashi:** Lady Tsunade? 

Lady Tsunade placed a palm on her face.

 **Lady Tsunade:** Whatever. **_*sigh_ ** _*_ Shizune, summon the medical team so I can finish my work here.  
 **Shizune:** Yes, ma’am.  
 **Kakashi:** Lady Tsunade.  
 **Lady Tsunade:** Yes?  
 **Kakashi:** What are they talking about? 

She just smirked at me.

 **Kakashi:** Tell me.  
 **Lady Tsunade:** Rest, Kakashi. It can wait.  
 **Kakashi:** Can you just tell me now? 

She didn’t answer.

 **Kakashi:** Lady Tsunade, please.  
 **Lady Tsunade:** **_*sigh*_ **Listen. I honestly don’t know the details, but something happened in your mission. When you came back, it seemed that you and (Y/N) were a couple again. Not officially. But it was obvious that something was going on again. Only she can tell you everything that there is to know.  
 **Kakashi:** A couple?  
 **Lady Tsunade:** That would mean you have disregarded the special mission I gave you.  
 **Kakashi:** I--  
 **Lady Tsunade:** All is good, Kakashi. I might as well have to disregard that mission too, right Shizune?

Shizune nodded and smiled at me. 

**Kakashi:** Now, I’m getting really curious. Why can’t I just go to (Y/N) right now? I really want to see her.  
 **Guy:** Oh, Kakashi, that’s the spirit! I am here to support you! Lets go and ignite the flame of your rekindled love!  
 **Lady Tsunade:** Kakashi is not going anywhere until he has fully recovered. He can’t even move his legs yet.  
 **Kakashi:** But..  
 **Lady Tsunade:** That’s an order.  
 **Naruto:** Kakashi-Sensei. Don’t worry, I can go and get (Y/N)-Sensei for you. 

I wretchedly turned to the window. A number of the village lights were already out. An indication that people have already gone to sleep. I’ve been asleep for a month. I didn’t think I’d ever want to go back at it again. And knowing that (Y/N) and I are back together without me knowing how, will just make it harder for me to rest.

_(Y/N), why did you leave all of a sudden? I hope everything’s alright. Tch. I wish you were here. I badly want to see you now._

The sleepless nights at the hospital made it hard for me to get that peace of mind. I just rolled around my bed, trying to think of what to do. For some reason, Naruto wasn’t able to bring (Y/N) to me. That triggered my restlessness all the more. But our Hokage reassured me that she was in good hands, and that I just had to wait a few more days before I get to see her.

  


*****

I stepped inside my apartment and was welcomed by small particles falling from the ceiling. I was surprised to see my home free from cobwebs and loads of dust, given that I was gone for a month. I dropped my bag on the floor and noticed a few boxes resting below the table. I sighed as I looked at them. They were the items that (Y/N) threw away. Letters, gifts, pictures, and a whole lot more.

After our breakup, I had a very hard time coping. When I had the chance, I’d still made a way to see her even just from afar, because I didn’t think I could take it if I came closer. Missing her was too much to bare already. I’d spent my free time watching her, making sure she was okay. So it really broke my heart when I saw her getting rid of all these items. I took the chance to gather all of them and kept them here with me. 

When I started unpacking my bag, I began to feel uneasy for I thought that there was something missing.

_The necklace? Where is it?!_

The nurse mentioned that she returned each of my belongings. I scanned every inch of my bag, but I still couldn’t find it. I feared that I lost it during our mission. The necklace was very valuable to me. Out of desperation, I was willing to summon Pakkun and the rest of my ninken to go look for it.

_I need that necklace.. It’s for--_

*knock, knock*

My deep thoughts were abrupted by the knock. I tried to push my anxiousness to the back of my head and decided that I can go look for it as soon as I was done unpacking.

  
  


**Your POV**

The door opened. Kakashi’s eyes, including his Sharingan, shot open. He wanted to say my name, but no sound couldn’t escape from his mouth.

 **(Y/N):** I’m sorry. Were you resting?  
 **Kakashi** : ...  
 **(Y/N):** Are you okay?  
 **Kakashi:** No…  
 **(Y/N):** What?  
 **Kakashi:** Wait! I.. I mean… No, I wasn’t resting. **_*blushes*_   
****(Y/N):** Sorry. It might not be a good time.  
 **Kakashi:** No no no.. it’s fine. 

He bashfully asked me to enter. But as I was about to step in, he immediately stopped me.

 **Kakashi:** WAIT! Uhm.. Can you j-just wait a little o-outside?!  
 **(Y/N):** Oh.. okay.  
 **Kakashi:** Sorry. This will be quick. 

He slammed the door and I heard his heavy footsteps running around inside. I also heard items falling on the floor. 

**Kakashi:** A-ow! Damn it!  
 **(Y/N):** Kakashi! Is everything alright?!  
 **Kakashi:** Ye-yes! Just a sec! 

After a few moments, he stormed out of his apartment.

 **Kakashi:** Sorry. I just had to fix the mess inside.  
 **(Y/N):** Are you sure it’s a good time?  
 **Kakashi:** Yes. Please come in. 

He led me to his living room. After offering a glass of water, there was this utter silence. We were trying our best to gather our words. And in a moment, we both said something at the same time.

 **Kakashi:** I-I’m sorry. What were you saying?   
**(Y/N):** N-no. Y-you go first.  
 **Kakashi:** I.. forgot what I was supposed to say. 

I confusingly looked at him, but just chuckled right after. He did the same while rubbing the back of his head. But after sharing a few more smiles, I became downhearted.

 **Kakashi:** Are you okay?  
 **(Y/N):** Kakashi..  
 **Kakashi:** What’s wrong? What’s the matter?  
 **(Y/N):** I thought you were never going to wake up. It really scared me. I thought… I thought I lost you. 

I gently took his hand and stroked it. But he looked away, not knowing what to say. This prompted the fear in me. I feared that he was rejecting my feelings for him. I released his hand and stood up.

 **(Y/N):** I need to go.  
 **Kakashi:** Wait? What? 

I hurriedly walked towards the door. 

**Kakashi:** What’s wrong?! Did I do something?!  
 **(Y/N):** This was a mistake. I’m sorry. 

Kakashi’s quickly blocked the door, with his hand holding the doorknob. 

**Kakashi:** Wait!  
 **(Y/N):** Kakashi. What are you doing?  
 **Kakashi:** Can… you please stay? I need to talk to you.  
 **(Y/N):** You need to rest. And I know what you’re just going to say.  
 **Kakashi:** I’ve rested quite enough already. Please. I need you to stay. Don’t go. You haven’t even heard me yet. 

He desperately held on to me. I didn’t know what got into me, but I suddenly felt so stupid. I fought so hard to get him back. But now that he’s awake, I was pushing him away again. I just really felt so scared. Maybe because I knew he couldn't remember anything about the mission. He didn’t remember how he confessed his love for me again. And I feared that he didn’t feel the same thing anymore.

 **Kakashi:** Why are you running away from me?  
 **(Y/N):** I’m not.  
 **Kakashi:** You are! Is it… is it because of what happened in the mission?  
 **(Y/N):** It doesn’t matter.  
 **Kakashi:** It does! It really matters to me!  
 **(Y/N):** It’s just…  
 **Kakashi:** What are you so afraid of? 

_I’m scared that you don’t feel the same anymore, Kakashi. I don’t want to get my hopes up and then just lose you again in the end. You confessed your love to me because you were on the brink of death. But now that you’re fully well, do you think it’s still best for us not to be together? I love you Kakashi, and I promised myself that if you woke up, that would be enough for me already. But I don’t think I can handle another rejection from you._

**Kakashi:** Fine. You can leave. But please listen to what I have to say first. 

He got rid of his mask, allowing me to see his real emotions. But I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to. With that, his fingers took my chin.

 **Kakashi:** You’re such a great woman. And yet I’ve hurt you so much. I’m the worst, I know. I messed you up. I messed up our relationship. I’m really sorry. I really am. I hate myself for hurting you. You deserve all the best things in this world. You deserve all the happiness. But I gave you nothing but pain. And yet, here you are. You still chose to forgive me. You still chose to love me and fight for me. I don’t deserve you, (Y/N). You deserve someone better than me. You deserve the best..

_I knew it. He feels different now. He doesn’t want to be in this relationship. Stop, Kakashi. No more. Enough of this pain._

**Kakashi:**..but will still give me another chance?  
 **(Y/N):** W-what?  
 **Kakashi:** I was wrong. I made a mistake. A terrible mistake. I know that now. I shouldn’t have let you go. I was stupid and selfish. (Y/N)... you’re the one and only person that I want to love and cherish. Please forgive me and give me another chance to be the best man for you.  
 **(Y/N):** Ka..kashi..  
 **Kakashi:** I hope it’s not too late to make up for the mistakes I’ve made. I love you, (Y/N). I love you so much! And I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I know I don’t deserve this. But will you please let me love you better this time? 

I just couldn’t hold my emotions anymore. I pulled him closer and tightly wrapped my arms around him. Tears fell from my eyes as I did so. He returned my embrace and I continued to cry on him.

 **(Y/N):** I love you! I love you too!

Our faces sank on each others necks. I felt little tears falling on my skin as well. Kakashi’s cries were silent, but I felt his emotions through his strong embrace.

 **Kakashi:** I’m never gonna let you go. Never again. I promise you that. Damn it, I love you so much, (Y/N)!

He captured my lips and I tasted a few of his teardrops that still kept flowing from his eyes. It made me cry all the more. Both of us have suffered so much during 6 months of being apart. Yet here we were, stronger than ever. We’re back in each others arms, and we weren’t going to give up on each other ever again.


	11. Permanence

**Your POV  
  
**

**Kakashi:** I love you, (Y/N). I love you so much.  
 **(Y/N):** I love you too.  
  
Kakashi slowly lifted me up and carried me towards his bedroom. But I refused and climbed back down.

 **(Y/N):** No.  
 **Kakashi:** Why not?  
 **(Y/N):** I want you to rest.  
 **Kakashi:** I've rested long enough.  
 **(Y/N):** This can wait.

He smiled and kissed me.

 **Kakashi** : Okay.. If this is what you want.  
 **(Y/N):** Why don't you go take a shower first? This will freshen you up.  
 **Kakashi:** Hm. Okay. But..  
 **(Y/N):** What?  
 **Kakashi:** Mind if you join me?

I just stared at him.

 **Kakashi:** Okay, okay. I'm sorry.  
 **(Y/N):** I'll be right outside.  
 **Kakashi:** Don't go missing again. _***kisses her lips***_ I love you so much, (Y/N) (L/N). Thank you for giving me another chance.  
 **(Y/N):** I love you too. Now, go take a shower.

He smiled, stepped back, and undressed in front of me.

 **(Y/N):** What are you doing?  
 **Kakashi:** I'm getting ready for my shower.  
 **(Y/N):** Are you trying to tempt me?  
 **Kakashi:** No.  
 **(Y/N):** You're crazy, you know that?  
 **Kakashi:** It's not like you've never seen me naked before.

My heart felt a little pain as I glanced over Kakashi's body, and he was quick to notice it.

 **Kakashi:** Hey, what's wrong?

I stepped closer and rested my hands over his shoulder.

 **(Y/N):** You've lost a lot of weight. Promise me you'll work on getting healthy again.  
 **Kakashi:** I promise. Don't worry about me, okay? I'm completely fine.  
 **(Y/N):** I know, I know. But I want you to get better. 

He smiled and nodded before giving me one last smack on the cheek. I chuckled a little as I watched his naked form walked towards the bathroom.

_I love you, Kakashi Hatake. So much._

While waiting for him to finish, I rested myself on the couch, and tried to relax my mind. But when I shifted my position, I noticed some boxes piled up inside his storage room. The door was left opened. I thought the boxes looked familiar, so I went towards it. When I opened them, I covered my mouth in shock.

 _These items... Why are they here? I remember throwing them in the garbage.  
  
_ Upon seeing everything, tears started to well up in my eyes again. It was just a mixture of different emotions.

_Kakashi.. aren't you full of surprises?_

_********* _

I was back on the couch when Kakashi went out fully clothed, with a towel around his neck.

 **Kakashi:** Everything alright?  
 **(Y/N):** Yeah. Just resting.

He rubbed his head with the towel and settled the wet cloth on the wooden chair next to the table. He soon joined me on the couch, laying his back on the armrest. He pulled me closer to him, allowing me settle in between his legs. His strong arms circled around me as he placed his chin on my shoulder.

 **(Y/N):** Hmm.. you smell good. **  
Kakashi:** How have you been, (Y/N)? Have you been taking care of yourself too? How have you been treating your injuries?  
 **(Y/N):** I'm good. The hospital really took good care of me. Our friends visited me time to time. I'm grateful to all of them.  
 **Kakashi:** Really? That's good. I'm glad they did. Promise me that you'll take care of yourself too, okay?  
 **(Y/N):** Okay. I promise..  
 **Kakashi:** But.. just so you don't forget. I'm here to take care of you too.  
 **(Y/N):** Thank you.  
 **Kakashi:** By the way..  
 **(Y/N):** Hmm?  
 **Kakashi:** My memories have returned. It happened when I was in the hospital.

I sat up and faced him real quick.  
  
 **(Y/N):** Really?!  
  
He gently smiled at me.

 **Kakashi:** There's something I wanted to ask... about the mission.  
 **(Y/N):** Okay.  
 **Kakashi:** You..... you.. uhm... Tch. Nevermind.  
 **(Y/N):** Kakashi! What is it?  
 **Kakashi:** Well, it's kind of silly.  
 **(Y/N):** Just tell me.  
 **Kakashi:** Uhm.. You didn't have feelings for that Kabuki guy, didn't you?

I chuckled a little.

 **Kakashi:** See? It's silly. You're making fun of me now.  
 **(Y/N):** I'm not. And no, I didn't have feelings for him. I mean, sure, I did get attracted but--  
 **Kakashi:** You did?  
 **(Y/N):** It's nothings serious. Trust me.

He looked down and pouted a little. He was so cute, acting like a a jealous teenager. I adjusted to a position where I was now straddling him. His face remained downcast. I lifted it up and asked him to smile for me.  
  
 **Kakashi:** I'm jealous.  
 **(Y/N):** I said it's nothing serious.  
 **Kakashi:** Even so. You still found him attractive.  
 **(Y/N):** Hey. Are you mad?  
 **Kakashi:** No. Not at all. I just feel bad for allowing it to happen.  
 **(Y/N):** Don't be. He means nothing to me.  
 **Kakashi:** He was being sweet and all that. I was really bothered by it. It felt too much.  
 **(Y/N):** He almost tried to kill both of us. Remember?  
 **Kakashi:** Yeah. And that too. I should have ripped him into pieces for hurting you.  
 **(Y/N): _*chuckles*_** My heart is yours, Kakashi Hatake. Always.

He stroked the strands of my hair and placed them behind my ear.

 **Kakashi:** Remind me how I don't deserve you and why I'm such a lucky man to still have you.

I tugged him closer and captured his soft lips. But as soon as I did, I felt his tongue asking for permission to enter. I complied. Hot breaths were released, together with soft moans. The intimacy between us heightened up as we wrapped our arms around each other.  
  
 **Kakashi:** Hmm... I... hmm.. love you..  
  
Minutes later, in the middle of it all, I felt him getting harder below me. He pulled away and cursed at himself.

 **Kakashi:** Damn it. This is so hard, (Y/N)!  
 **(Y/N):** Who's hard? You? Yeah, I could feel you. You're hard as rock.

We both chuckled.   
  
**Kakashi:** Tch. I'm sorry. I'll stop now. This can wait. I can wait.  
 **(Y/N):** You are always the patient one.  
 **Kakashi:** Yeah, but I have my limits. So please don't tempt me too much.  
 **(Y/N):** Tempt you? Am I?  
 **Kakashi:** Just seeing you is enough to tempt me. But you know, there's really nothing wrong if we do it now. I promise, I'll be alright. It won't put a strain on me---

His eyes widened when he felt his trousers being pulled down. He hissed when I wrapped my fingers around him.

 **Kakashi:** Your fingers are cold.  
 **(Y/N):** Do you want me to stop?  
  
I continued to stroke him and he couldn't utter a word. He just closed his eyes and started to pant. I tightened my grip all the more.  
  
 **Kakashi:** Hmng.. n-no.. please don't s-stop..  
 **(Y/N):** Okay.

I lifted his shirt and took it off from him. To be followed by his trousers and underwear.

 **(Y/N):** Lie down and close your eyes.  
 **Kakashi:** W-what?  
 **(Y/N):** Try to relax. Trust me.

He hummed my name when I started stroking him again, also leaving soft kisses on his face. Then, down to his neck, chest, and stomach. His breathing grew harder. 

**Kakashi:** Aaahh.... (Y/N)..  
  
He moaned as soon as my lips touched the skin of his hard length.  
  
 **(Y/N):** Sshh.. Just close your eyes.

I wrapped my mouth around the head of his cock as my fingers stroked up and down.

 **(Y/N):** I owe you this. Remember?  
 **Kakashi:** I'm.. ahh... sorry for stopping.. hmmahh.. you the last time.  
 **(Y/N):** I'm sorry for hurting you.  
 **Kakashi:** _***chuckles***_ Yeah.. That kick really did hurt a lot.  
 **(Y/N):** Let me make up for it.

As I kept on pumping my fingers, my tongue slid down to his balls. I gently swallowed one of it before doing the same thing to the other. 

**Kakashi:** That f-felt really g-good.

My fingers were replaced with my wet lips and tongue. Kakashi clenched his teeth and growled. I made sure to take him all in. He just grew bigger and bigger.

 **(Y/N):** Can you still handle it?  
 **Kakashi:** Ye-yes.. don't stop.

Kakashi's chest inhaled and exhaled. He grabbed unto the couch as I increased my speed. I earned louder moans from him.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)... aahh... I'm close...

I increased my speed all the more.

 **Kakashi:** A-almost there.. Aahhh..

I looked up to see how he was doing. He was staring back at me. I could see how he was having a good time. His eyes. His mouth. His chest. All his actions were evidence of how I made him feel. He was, indeed, enjoying all this pleasure.

 **Kakashi:** I'm... I'm about to cum. I'm.. I'm...

He lifted his hips up as he shot loads of thick and warm fluids into my mouth, which I gladly took in. 

**Kakashi:** Hmmngggg!!!  
  
I pressed my mouth unto him, sucked and sipped his release, tasting what's left on his cock. He lifted my hair up, not wanting any of it to cover my face. He wanted to see how he was being cleaned up by lips and tongue.

 **Kakashi:** Damn.. you're being so good to me.  
 **(Y/N):** Hmm...  
 **Kakashi:** I'm sorry.. I made a mess.

After wiping my mouth, I laid beside him and kissed his cheek.

 **(Y/N):** It's okay.  
 **Kakashi:** My body is trembling in pleasure.  
 **(Y/N):** Did it feel good?  
 **Kakashi:** It did. Very much. I could still feel your mouth around me.  
  
His eyes were slowly closing.  
  
 **(Y/N):** Why don't you get some rest now?  
 **Kakashi:** Okay.. 

He thanked me. Then, dozed off minutes after.  
  
  
*****  
  
  
 **Kakashi's POV**  
  
  
I fell asleep for a couple of hours. I woke up with (Y/N) lying right next to me. She was going through an old album containing our photos.  
  
 **Kakashi:** Shit.  
 **(Y/N):** Hm?  
 **Kakashi:** So you've found the boxes.  
 **(Y/N):** You look so young in these photos.  
 **Kakashi:** Yeah. But you haven't changed at all. Still looking so young and beautiful.  
 **(Y/N):** I'm sorry. I'm sorry for throwing these away.  
 **Kakashi:** I'll have to admit. I was really hurt. But it's okay. I deserved it anyway.  
 **(Y/N):** Thank you for keeping them.  
 **Kakashi:** I'd rather have you return em to me or throw them at my face. Promise me you won't put these things in the garbage again.   
**(Y/N):** Nope.  
 **Kakashi:** What?  
 **(Y/N):** I don't have to promise on something that wouldn't happen.  
  
I smiled at the thought of her words.  
  
 **(Y/N):** Did you sleep well?  
 **Kakashi:** I sure did. Haven't slept that well in a long time.  
 **(Y/N):** That's good.  
 **Kakashi:** Thanks to you. Wish you could give me... more of it..   
  
She looked at me with a raised eyebrow, then went to grip me down below.  
  
 **Kakashi:** Hey!   
**(Y/N):** Hmm... You're soft.  
 **Kakashi:** Of course, I am! I was.. I was referring to my sleep. Not to..  
 **(Y/N):** Not to what?  
 **Kakashi:** Well.. you know.. what you did to me... down there..  
 **(Y/N):** Don't you want me to give you more... of it?  
  
I quickly laid on top of her.  
  
 **Kakashi:** You know I do! I wish you'd do it to me everyday.  
  
She escaped from below me and stood up. I took her hand and tried to pull her into the couch again. But she refused.  
  
 **(Y/N):** I need to go. I was just waiting for you to wake up.  
 **Kakashi:** Why? Where you off to?  
 **(Y/N):** Home..  
 **Kakashi:** Home?  
  
I stood up and held her waist.  
  
 **Kakashi:** Please stay. I can bring you home tomorrow.  
 **(Y/N):** But..  
 **Kakashi:** Please? I miss you. I really really do.  
  
She then smiled and embraced me.  
  
 **(Y/N):** Okay.  
 **Kakashi:** Thank you!  
  
I gave her nonstop kisses which made her scream and giggle.  
  
 **(Y/N):** Kakashi! Aah! Just go and get dressed already!  
 **Kakashi:** What? Do I need to?  
 **(Y/N):** It's getting cold.  
 **Kakashi:** Warm me up with an embrace?  
  
She complied. I couldn't stop myself from smiling as she held me so tight. She made me feel at peace.  
  
 **Kakashi:** I love you. I love you so much.  
 **(Y/N):** I love you too.  
  
We continued the warm embrace, to be followed by another intimate kiss. I just couldn't stop myself. I was terribly missing her even if she was physically present. I wanted her to be by my side. I didn't want to let go.  
  
As much as I wanted to control myself, I just couldn't. I lifted her up again. But this time, she didn't complain about it. I took it as my go signal. I laid her on the bed with our lips still attached to each other. I felt an unexplainable bliss having her with me. I wanted to give her all the love tonight. The love that she deserves. The love that only I can give.  
  
I took her shirt off, then I felt a cold metal around her neck. Looking down, I was surprised to see what it was.  
  
 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)..  
 **(Y/N):** Oh, I found this in the hospital. I mean, it was there together with your belongings. And I saw it. So I decided to keep it so it wouldn't get lost.  
 **Kakashi:** I was so worried. I thought I lost it.  
  
She took it off and placed it on my palm. I shook my head.  
  
 **Kakashi:** No..  
  
She looked confused.  
  
 **Kakashi:** You remember the night when I didn't come home? And I was given a mission?  
 **(Y/N):** Yeah.. I also know that after your mission, you went to the Hokage and surrendered your headband.

My eyes shut wide open.  
  
 **(Y/N):** It's okay, Kakashi. I know everything. I understand why you did what you did. Just promise me, one thing.  
 **Kakashi:** What is it?  
 **(Y/N):** Please don't hide the truth from me again. Okay? We need to be a little more honest with each other. So we can talk and fix things.  
 **Kakashi:** Okay. I promise. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry about everything.  
 **(Y/N):** Back to your story?  
 **Kakashi:** Okay. Before going to the Hokage, I actually bought these rings along the way. That time, I knew I wanted to protect you and be with you. I was determined to keep you safe.  
  
I took one of the rings off from the necklace.  
  
 **Kakashi:** (Y/N).. I'm not sure if this is the right time. But it doesn't matter. You're finally back in my life even if I thought I already lost you.  
  
Little tears started to fall from my eyes as my voice started to shake. I was trying my best to compose myself. (Y/N) was just there, carefully listening to me.  
  
 **Kakashi:** You... you really make me so happy. You're the one and only person who can make me feel this way. (Y/N), I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to love you and cherish you forever. I want to build my future with you. I want to have a family with you. I want to grow old with you, where I know you will still be that beautiful woman. I want to do everything with you! Just you..  
 **(Y/N):** Kakashi..  
 **Kakashi:** I love you so much, (Y/N). I love you with all my heart! I really love you!  
  
I took her left hand and slid the ring into one of her fingers.  
  
 **Kakashi:** Will you say yes to all of these things? Will... will.. will you marry me?  
  
She looked at me. Speechless. And at each second of her silence went by, I felt all the more nervous.

 **Kakashi:** (Y/N)?  
  
She was still silent.  
  
 _Fuck. Did I mess up? Was this all too soon? Was this all too much?  
  
_ **Kakashi:** I.. I'm sorry... I--  
 **(Y/N):** Yes! Kakashi, yes! Yes!  
  
My smile went as wide as my eyes did.

 **Kakashi:** You.. you.. you will?  
 **(Y/N):** Yes, Kakashi! I'll marry you!  
 **Kakashi:** You will?!?!  
 **(Y/N):** Yes!!!  
 **Kakashi:** I'm so happy! I'm so fucking happy!!! _***kisses her lips***_ You make me the happiest man alive!  
  
The feeling was indescribable! Every moment felt perfect. The best things weren't enough to describe what I was feeling.  
  
 **Kakashi:** I love you! Oh, god, I love you so much!   
**(Y/N):** I love you too.  
  
She had these tears of joy as I placed the necklace back around her neck. She couldn't help but stare at the ring on her finger. Then she held the other ring that was dangling on the necklace.  
  
 **Kakashi:** Don't worry. You'll soon have this once you become my Mrs. Hatake.  
  
She smiled at me and she looked so damn beautiful.  
  
 **(Y/N):** Hold me, Kakashi. Hold me as tight as you could.  
 **Kakashi:** Yes, my love.  
  
I laid her back to bed and continued to caress and kiss her. I wanted her to feel so loved. I wanted her to feel perfect.  
  
 **Kakashi:** Can I? Can we?  
  
She nodded. I took her lips, not wanting to let go. As we shared each other's warmth, my hand went to remove her underwear and crawled down to her heat. She was wet and ready.  
  
I sat back up to see the view in front of me.  
  
 **(Y/N):** Please give it to me, Kakashi...  
  
My thumb temptingly rubbed her clits while inserted two fingers. I played with my fingers inside as I smoothly pressed in and out.  
  
 **(Y/N):** Ahhh... I'm all yours, Kakashi. I'm y-yours..  
  
Her words turned me on. I bent over and gently kissed her wet folds. Her moans grew louder and louder in each movement of my fingers and tongue. Her hands slid down to my silver gray hair. She gripped them hard with each pleasure I have her. Indeed, I was such a lucky man. I felt the pride of being the only man who can do this to her.  
  
I pulled my fingers out. It was covered with thick and warm fluids. She was more than ready for me. After tasting my fingers, I positioned myself in between her legs, with my arms resting on the side of her head. We passionately stared at each other. The hunger in our faces we evident.  
  
 **Kakashi:** Are you ready?  
 **(Y/N):** More than ready.  
  
I slowly entered her.  
  
 **Kakashi:** Hmmmaah... (Y/N)... aahh...  
  
She grabbed my neck and pulled me closer as I deeply penetrated her. All she could utter was my name. And it was like music to my ears. Her warm walls rubbing against my manhood made me crave for her all the more. It's as if I could do this forever. And I didn't want it to end. The room was filled with our voices. Voices filled with utter bliss.  
  
I continued to thrust in and out, trying my best to hold on, as I didn't want this to end soon.  
  
 **(Y/N):** Kakashi! Harder! Faster!  
 **Kakashi:** Yes, m-my love. Yes!  
  
It felt like I was about to break my bed. I held onto her hands as my penetration increased in power and speed. My release was getting nearer. I could feel it.  
  
I lifted her legs and placed them on my shoulder, allowing me to go deeper within. I could feel the tip of my cock hitting her deep inside. Her warm walls was getting tighter. She was nearing her end too.  
  
I took this cue to go as fast as I could. Faster and faster.  
  
 **(Y/N):** Aahhh.... Ahhh... Kakashi! C-cum inside.. of me..  
 **Kakashi:** Y-yes... I'll give y-you.. everything!  
 **(Y/N):** M-more!!  
 **Kakashi:** Aahh... I'm c-close!  
 **(Y/N):** Harder!  
 **Kakashi:** Yes, love! Ahhh...  
  
After some hard thrusts, I felt my release.  
  
 **Kakashi:** I'm cumming!  
  
I was releasing so much cum, that they started pouring outside of her.  
  
 **Kakashi:** (Y/N).. ahhh!  
 **(Y/N):** I could f-feel it.. inside..  
  
I felt proud with how she looked at me. I could tell that she was satisfied with the love and pleasure I gave her. I thrusted a few more times before pulling out. And when I pulled my flesh out from her entrance, my fluids came along with it and poured into my bedsheet.  
  
 **Kakashi:** Sorry. I didn't expect to release a lot. I'll go clean up.  
 **(Y/N):** No. It's okay. Stay.  
 **Kakashi:** Are you sure?  
  
She nodded and I laid beside her. We stayed quiet for a couple of minutes. And when I was already able to catch my breath, I faced her and pulled her closer.  
  
 **Kakashi:** How are you feeling?  
 **(Y/N):** Indescribable. In a good way.  
 **Kakashi:** Good.  
 **(Y/N):** You were amazing. You quite lasted for awhile.  
 **Kakashi:** I had to. I wanted to.  
 **(Y/N):** I hope this didn't put a strain on you.  
 **Kakashi:** Me? Not at all. I'm ready to go all the way tonight.   
  
She chuckled and held me closer.  
  
 **(Y/N):** You can still manage?  
 **Kakashi:** Of course.  
  
I turned her body around so that both her arms and legs were resting on the bed.  
  
 **Kakashi:** Yes, I can still manage! How about you? 

She nodded and I sat up, excitingly positioned my hardened length to her entrance.  
  
 **(Y/N):** Make love to me, Kakashi.

That night, I submitted to all of her requests.  
  
 _ **  
*******_  
  
  
We went on until sunrise, making love like there's no more tomorrow. It was the longest we had. And we've never felt any happier.  
  
 _(Y/N), I will never get tired of loving you. I will never get tired of showing how much you mean to me. You're my everything. My life. My world. I love you with all my heart._  
  
 _Have I had enough?_  
  
 _No. Never. There will never be "enough" in loving you._  
  
  



End file.
